Desire: Friend or Foe?
August 2009
It
is never the idol that you want,
but what you think it offers you.
A
Course in Miracles
Desire. Friend or
Foe?
Let's face it: desire has gotten a bad rap for
centuries. With roots in both eastern and western
religious traditions, renunciation of desire has
penetrated the collective psyche as a noble aim in an
ever-expanding material world. We are taught - through
an onslaught of psychological, sociological, and
spiritual influences - that desire is selfish and
fleeting...and that the ego (desire's vehicle) must be
defeated in order to experience true happiness. Yet
despite our best intentions, desire remains a human
epidemic we have yet to overcome as a species. Some
might wonder, if we are truly evolving, why are we
still yearning?
Humans are a species mesmerized by dichotomies. We
continually do the dance of extremes in order to propel
ourselves forth. Desire is a force hard to deny; thus,
when renunciation of the material world wages a war
within, we turn to consumption. After feeding impulse
after impulse, we find we are still left empty. We
pretend our hunger means nothing...we pretend it means
everything...and now we are ready to stop pretending.
Every human longing points to a potential within. Our
minds are magicians, continually whipping up potions
that we think promise us the end we are seeking. We
spend time and resources casting spell after spell in
hopes to manifest the IT that will deliver us the
sensation we so long for. Time and time again, the
end-result is short-lived. Thus, we blame desire itself
for leading us astray.
Yet, what if we are simply missing the point? What if
desire is not the problem. Perhaps it is our approach
to it that needs to be re-evaluated. I have come to
understand that each and every desire (without
exception) point us in the direction of a
universally-desired sensation. Thus, at the heart of
our desire is alignment with a potential that is
seeking to be born through our life experience.
What You Really Want is
YOU
The object of your desire is not the problem; the fact
that you want IT is not the source of your mood swings.
It is in the misunderstanding of these impulses that
you find cause to suffer. Put simply, desire is an
indicator that something more is calling to you. Life's
struggles aren't a result of the cycle of incessant
wanting. Suffering may be due to attachments to the
many forms that your physical creation has taken, or
may take in the future. Or, perhaps more commonly in
our western culture,
suffering is ignoring oneself and never fulfilling the
potential buried beneath surface
longing.
What you really want is to E X P A N D - to express
more of your evolving essence. The objects of your
desire are simply things that you believe will deliver
the goods - the goodness that it your birthright.
Desire is the eager whimper of a more expansive YOU
that is currently hidden from view. To deny it is to
deny your innate tendency for growth and expansion.
Paradoxically, it is the denial of our deepest desires
that causes the ego run amok. Anyone who has ever
stayed the course of a circumstance (or way of being)
long-outgrown knows the blessed tantrums of the ego.
Interestingly, when we finally let go and yield to what
would feel better - in thought, word, or action - the
tempest fades. Alas, could the ego be an ally on this
journey?! Oh yes, indeed!! An
ego-soul alliance is pulsing at the core of
this message.
Metaphorically speaking, your soul is in a state of
perpetual rebirth. (I mean, in this
life, you are meant to evolve
continually). Your ego and the world of form offer
vessels of gestation through which you are meant to
grow in and out of. And, it is the contractions of
desire that deliver you forth. They ensure your
expansion by pushing you towards greater degrees of
love, joy, freedom, and well-being.
Expansion through
Form
Some spiritual teachers have told us to seek the
medicine from within. They say that if we sit still
long enough...if we dive deep enough...and if we resist
the dream of the physical world around us, we will be
rewarded with limitless joy. Yet, is the point of this
physical dimension simply to deny it? Or, can we have
both? - the boundless joy of expansion and the
pleasures of human existence? Rather than
enlightenment in spite of
the physical
world, could this planet of ours become the
container through
which we express our collective
enlightenment?
Every aspect of the living world is in a state of
perpetual expansion. Growth and evolution of form is
the way of the physical domain. At the root of this
propulsion forth is - you guessed it - desire. The
longing for something better. Desire is the catalyst
for change. Change is a means for personal expansion.
And personal expansion is the key ingredient in
collective evolution.
Accept and
embrace your desires as reflections of latent potential
within all of us.
Join the Dialogue
Those of you in the Portland area, join me this
Thursday, August 13th at New Renaissance
Bookshop. I am honored to be
leading a coaching forum that will shed a new light on
desire, the ego, and the metaphysics of creation. We
will explore and evolve the Law of Attraction through
the lens of the soul. Questions, comments, and
contributions are welcome. Hope to see you
there!
Click here to sign up.
Note: CLICK
HERE for a follow-up post on the Soul Vibes
event.
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Inspired Action
June/July 2009
Action
may not always bring happiness,
but there is no happiness without action.
-
Benjamin Disraeli
What should I do?
It's a common question. I come face-to-face with it
often - in sessions with clients, and in my own
personal life.
At the heart of the question is disempowerment. It begs
for a prescribed to-do list that will help to sooth the
feeling of disconnection. However, acting from such a
desperate space rarely feels good. Rather than
approaching the situation with immediate action, I find
it to be far more efficient to focus on clarifying
desires. When we do this, we address the feeling space
directly, and then let the to-do list emerge from the
space of inspiration.
Inspiration is alignment with the best of
you.
For the most part, I tend to follow my bliss where it
takes me - which means shedding old skin (ie. labels
and livelihoods) often. I have been told I am being
'impulsive' and 'unreasonable' more than once. If
following my impulsive whims makes me appear flighty
and without rational direction. So be it! The compass
that I follow is Happiness Itself...and it always
points toward my greater good. I can honestly say that
I get happier and happier as the years pass. There is
nothing more fulfilling to me that riding the waves of
inspiration. I do what I love; I love what I do. When
that statement no longer applies - and I have learned
this the hard way - it is time to make a change. And
when I do, I feel a surge of inspiration and
opportunity that defies description. In short, letting
go of what no longer serves me makes me available to
what does. Thus, in response to what should I do?, the
primary and immediate action that is required is to
stop doing that which I feel I am no longer a match
with.
Having said that, living an inspired existence is not a
lazy affair! On the contrary. It takes dynamism,
energy, and stamina to ride the waves of inspiration as
they come. Taking inspired action lends itself to a
life of courageous self-discovery. And while it may
mean taking a scary leap or two (or twenty-two!), the
payoff is bigger than any other. When you are feeding
life with what sends your heart soaring, it rewards you
with life force energy and opportunity beyond measure!
How does it feel?
How do you know what constitutes an inspired
action? Use the compass within to direct your
sails.
You see, at its best, action is fueled by inspiration
and passionate self-discovery. At its worst, action
holds us in stagnant defiance of who we are longing to
become. When you are reaching for something in your
life, action is futile without right alignment. Actions
that disallow your continual expansion create dis-ease
in your world. Simply put, they are inefficient,
energetic leaks that need addressing. You recognize
them for the strain and discomfort they bring about. On
the contrary, ease can be found through inspiration.
Sometimes it is found in pushing edges that propel you
forward. The sensation is one of freedom and
exhilaration (sometimes confused with fear). Yet, the
cliff-diving leaps of creation become easier over time
as you learn that what moves you to jump has the power
to send you soaring.
Look at your to-do list for the week. What do you see?
Responsibilities? Inspired Ideas? For most people,
responsibility takes the cake. Indeed, our daily
comings and goings are important. Many of your daily
tasks make you available to the peace of mind that
invites inspiration. Yet responsibilities become
liabilities when they keep us apart from ourselves.
Action is inefficient when it holds in fearful
stagnancy. The way of humanity (and all of life) is one
of continual expansion and transformation. Inspired
action means taking a risk...and moving towards what
moves you in the moment.
Therefore, consider taking less action...and
allow inspired actions to take you (further).
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Soul Light
April/May 2009
The
moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and
hesitate to tell the truth that is in us...the divine
floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.
Elizabeth
Cady Stanton
As a coach, I am privy to the themes of human
experience. While the stories of our lives take on
different shapes and characters, certain sensations are
common. Feeling stuck - either energetically or
circumstantially - is a common sensation that we all
face at one time or another.
Upon closer examination, "I feel stuck" is describing a
sensation of powerlessness. To feel powerless is to
lose connection to the voice of your soul and the more
of you that is longing to become. As a life coach with
a soulular approach, my job is to poke around in the
dark to help realign you with the light source
beckoning to you from within - reflecting itself
through your life experience.
Neale Donald Walsch cleverly describes the SOUL as a
Singular Output of Universal Life. So let's imagine
your soul is a light source through which a larger
intelligence speaks to you. Your soul light shines on
the fluid landscape of your life in order to guide your
way. Like a compass, it directs you to move this way
and that in order to connect you with the larger Light
of Source. When you yield to the trajectory of your
soul, you feel the bliss of Source shining upon you.
You feel powerful as you move towards more of you as an
outpicturing of this Larger Light. Your soul is
unfolding you through your experiences, and its job is
to take you in the direction of more of you becoming.
Yet, when you turn from your loving soul light - often
towards the directional light of what you think others
might want of you - you feel lost and disconnected from
joy. The light seems to elude you. Why? Your soul has
shifted its energetic focus in the direction of who you
have become, and you are not following along. You are
stuck being who you once were. Your discomfort is your
soul calling out your name in the dark, inviting you to
turn towards your future. Thus, the feeling of being
lost (or stuck) is good news! It lets you know that you
have developed into the new you, and that now is a time
to shift your vantage point and direction.
Living authentically is an internal gauge that can only
be read from within. When you are in alignment with
your soul light - your values, passions, purpose, who
you are becoming - you know it by how good you feel.
Authenticity is an continuous dance of keeping your
vibration (way of being) level with the next evolution
of your soul's unfolding.
When your soul light turns you in an unpopular
direction; you must go in order to realign. Approval is
fluid and co-creative - others reflect how much you are
able to accept your right to become. They give your
will something to push against in order to develop
strength and confidence in who you are. Yet, this
discomfort too shall pass. In the end, living
authentically is never about rebellion - fighting
against what others think of you only strengthens your
fixation on them as your gauge. Nor is authentic
living about isolation - to live in alignment with who
you are does not require abandoning the desires of (and
your commitment to) those you love. On the contrary,
you are more present and true in every relationship
when you are confident, secure, and walking in the
world as who you really are. You no longer confuse the
way you feel with outside causes; nor do you expect
others to be as you are. You understand that YOU are
the first cause of your greatest joys and sorrows, not
those around you. Because your joy depends on you
alone, the people in your life approach you eagerly.
Your feeling good is up to you...they are off the hook!
This leaves you both present for authentic connection.
As a final thought: when you are feeling powerless, it
is important to note that your soul light only gets
stronger and stronger in your search for it. It is
there; always it is there calling out to you. In fact,
without this light from behind, you would not even be
able to see your shadow. Isn't that a grand design!
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Rose-Colored Glasses
March 2009
There
is no excuse not to feel good
knowing what you know.
Abraham-Hicks, 2-8-09
You may have noticed that
the February issue of theMessenger never made it out
into cyberspace. I was on a personal retreat - a
Abraham-Hicks Well-Being Adventure Cruise to the
Mexican Riviera with a dear friend and nearly 600
like-minded souls. It was truly a pivotal and inspiring
journey for me. I feel certain that I was forever
changed by the inspired teachings I was exposed to, the
individuals whom I met, and the hours spent steeping in
hot tubs and transformative discussions.
Something was revived in me...something that I have
known since my first dawn in this world...something
that shapes everything that I choose as I walk through
the world.
Life was meant to feel good.
I so enjoyed being on the receiving end of a message
that clarifies with such simplicity the essence of that
which I share in every SHiNE offering. My commitment to
our inherent right to feel good is the source behind
each and every SHiNE creation. When we are in alignment
with who it is we are becoming, we radiate contagious
enthusiasm and creative inspiration. When we allow the
natural expression of our truth and magnificence to
shine, we feel fabulous and connected to all of life.
However, when we dilute the fullness of our gifts or
disallow our most honest self from evolving forth, we
suffer from disharmony or dis-ease. My life has been -
and continues to be - a navigation of this most basic
principle of life. The path of my bliss dares me to
step into alignment with more of my potential with each
passing moment.
So what are common stumbling blocks for so many of us?
Why don't we feel good more of the time?
Learning to Trust Yourself
In some cases, we navigate our course based on the
opinions of those around us. We turn our attention away
from our internal guidance and we fixate on how we are
being received by our environment. Dis-empowerment is
self-inflicted as we stray from our path in order to
become what we perceive is expected of us or become
stuck in being who we once were. This tendency often
shows up subtly through our self-talk; we use words and
phrases like: should
and
have
to.
The honesty of what is real for us is denied for the
sake of what we think is right, rather that what we
know is right for us in the moment.
Finding the joy that is in our very nature hinges on
our ability to differentiate our desires from the
desires of those around us. What turns you on is
personal and unique to you. Let us all be reminded that
the need to please others - and/or to fit into a way of
being that is contrary to the essence of who we are -
leads to suffering. It is a Loving Universe that guides
us in this way. Through energetic imbalances - negative
emotion and/or physical dis-ease - we are being guided
to return to ourselves once more. It is nature's way of
saying: Deny who it is you have
become and I will remind you to make a shift. Realign
with what brings you great joy and you will feel
relief. It is always reminding
us...in order to feel good,
you must be true to the essence of who you really are -
and who you are continually becoming.
I can't think
of a message more loving than that.
Relief As An Indicator
It is in the moments of disconnection from Who We
Really Are that we feel fear and discouragement. It is
only when we miss the point of such moments that we get
stuck in the rut of despair. These 'low moments' are
simply letting us know that we are not aligned with our
deepest desires. Our inner guidance is providing us
with feedback - in this case, negative emotion - that
let's us know we are out of alignment with direction in
which we are evolving. The more we feed this
self-created reality of disempowerment (with
self-defeating criticism or habituated actions) the
worse we feel.
However, if we turn away from the discomfort and
consciously seek a feel-good experience, we immediately
feel relief. And relief is feedback that lets us know
we are moving closer to Who We Really Are. Relief can
come from shifting your attention from a topic that
"brings you down" to a topic that is neutral and/or of
a higher frequency for you. At other times, it is a
matter of re-framing your experience so that you see
the gift - the opportunity to develop into more of who
you have become - through each and every choice you
make.
As we move into spring, set the intention to make
FEELING GOOD your practice. When you come face-to-face
with a perceived source of discomfort, either shift
your attention or shift your perspective. Allow
yourself the freedom to choose how you want to feel in
relationship to the world around you. Whatever you do,
find a way to feel good. And yes...you can. You came
into the world knowing how to do this. You are
hard-wired to follow your emotions (internal
vibrations) as indicators...you get better and better
at it with time and practice. Life is supposed to be a
process of continual improvement as you become a master
of choosing more consciously over time.
Since returning from my travels, I have re-committed to
this practice. And I have been exuding more enthusiasm
and positivity than ever! So much so, in fact, that I
was recently accused of seeing the world through
rose-colored glasses. To this I responded, "Thank you!
And if you'd like, I'd be happy to fashion you a pair!"
Seeing Pink Everywhere,
Candice
This
month's feature was greatly influenced by the teachings
of Abraham-Hicks. For more information, visit them
online at www.abraham-hicks.com.
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Body Alliance
January 2009
Photo from The Full Body
Project
*[Wo]man
is the sole animal whose nudity offends her own
companions, and the only one who, in her natural
actions, withdraws and hides herself from her own
kind.
-
Montaigne
Tis' the season of new year's resolutions. Did you
expect to see a different kind of picture? Take a
minute to really look at the photo above. What comes to
mind as you view these full-figured women in all their
glory?
When I was in college studying for my BA in Psychology
and Human Development, one class that rocked my world
was entitled: Prejudice and Stigma. My dynamic
professor, Chris Crandall, is still at it. He has
been studying prejudice for decades. Specifically,
he is an expert on the topic of weight-related
prejudice. I vividly remember the day when he
revealed to us what I considered staggering
statistical findings. He and his colleagues found
that: The parents of obese children were
significantly less likely to pay to send them to
college. The familial weight-dependent prejudice
displayed towards female children was much higher
than that of boys. And that perhaps the most painful
aspect of the stigma of "fat" in all age groups -
what set this stigma apart from other demographics -
was that even people of the same size and shape were
reportedly prejudiced toward one another. In
essence, antipathy towards fat people is pervasive
and culturally reinforced, even within the family
and social circles.
The picture gallery referenced above intrigues me for
the way in which it challenges me to think. Did you
notice any culturally inherited prejudices in your
perception of these ladies? These are women who dance
in naked defiance of the cultural spell many of us are
under. First, they bask in the glow of self-acceptance
without sucking it in or reliance on airbrushing. That
is inspiration enough. Yet they take it a step further.
They blatantly dare you to face your judgments, your
assumptions, and your willingness to accept beauty in
all its variations. They dare to flaunt their abundant
curves, usually kept hidden. They reach to one another
for the courage it takes to be seen...a collective band
of body-blazing pioneers. They are heros in their own
right.
Over fifteen years after Dr. Crandall's initial
findings, I can honestly say that I don't know one
woman - of any shape or size - who is immune from the
terrifying stigma of "fat" on some level. Again and
again, I am surprised to learn that even the most
slender, dynamic, and powerful women are fighting
against their bodies. It's the same story in variant
forms...25-year old women "feeling fat" while wearing
everything from size two to size twenty, 35-45 year old
women confused that they are no longer shaped like a
teen model, and women 50+ years young who quite
literally ban themselves from the pleasure of a bathing
suit for life due to the pain of body-loathing. It's
our best kept secret - this emotional sickness among
women. We only allude to the symptoms of it, as our
helplessness keeps us from diving too deep.
On my own journey, I have certainly braved the seas of
change from adolecence into womanhood. Even my youth
and interest in movement didn't keep me immune. I look
back on photos of me athletic, thin, and in my
“physical prime.” I feel a mixture of awe and utter
sadness that I feared and "felt fat" even then! Now as
I step into another transformative season of life, I
peel back the layers on more negative beliefs and
self-judgments as my body is changing. When will I
truly feel total body acceptance?
If, like me, you have an intention for greater health
and self-care in 2009, I fully support your mission.
Yet I have discovered time and time again that
intentions driven by the desperation of body-loathing
are not a healthy prescription for change. True
motivation comes from a heartfelt desire for a more
fulfilling life, not a smaller dress size. And fitness
is about so much more than a number on a scale.
In 2008, I took a break from dancing and most forms of
fitness. This time-out was prompted by my body's cries
for a hiatus from over seven years of pretty much
continual dynamic movement. During that time the
prescription for my wellness was stillness. Over the
course of my time off, I gained nearly 20 lbs along
with the weight of some new leisurely habits.
Nevertheless, I was inventing new ways to be healthy
and whole. And, I was invited to love my body anew - an
ever-developing woman existing amidst a more curvaceous
landscape.
I recently started dancing again...as the integration
completed its cycle, my spirit began to stir once
again. I thought it would surely take a few months to
feel the power of fitness and movement as I once had.
What I discovered after only 1 week of movement was
glorious! No, not that I had lost a bunch of weight or
that I had rock-hard abs. I discovered that I
immediately felt alive again...that sweat is an elixir
of bliss when delivering the spirit within...and that
to move is to breathe life forward. All of these are
indicators of true fitness. To express my spirit
through the flesh, at any age and cycle of life, that
is wellness realized.
Lightness can be felt at any size. Beauty can be
activated in a deep cleansing breath or in a simple
movement of the hips. And fitness is an aliveness that
can only be measured from within.
Ladies, I know I am not
alone in my journey to change the way I think about my
body and fitness. Yet, instead of turning to one
another for support, we turn to our mirrors in shame.
We turn to fad diets...we turn to deprivation and
isolation...we turn to creams to hide our
cellulite...and unfortunately, we turn on one another
through subtle energetics that feed our pain and
disconnection.
As with all mentalities we outgrow as a species, this
cultural madness must be brought to light and shed. In
2009, like the women pictured above, let's create an
alliance to accept one another in the ways in which we
would like to be accepted. I propose that we band
together to step out of the darkness and into the light
and brilliance that comes from navigating our fears.
Let's stop turning our back on one another and let's
find fitness, pleasure, and self-acceptance somewhere
other than in our reflections and dress sizes.
If you feel so inspired, I invite you to join me in the
following New Year's Resolution:
• I will do my best to accept and find beauty in my
body, as it is - giving myself at least one physical
complement per day.
• I will send a message of body-based appreciation and
admiration to at least one woman per day (via a
heartfelt complement, through thought or word).
• I will readjust my thinking in order to incorporate a
new definition of fitness - one where feeling radiant
and powerful is more important than feeling thin. I
will seek opportunities to express my radiance through
my body in 2009!
SIGN THE CONTRACT
Body Alliance 2009
Print and Sign a Declaration to activate YOUR
resolution.
FREE
DOWNLOAD
And by the way, Body
Appreciation is just one of the many topics we will
focus on in the upcoming Radiance Coaching Class Series
(new dates tba). If you feel moved to join us,
click here for more information.
Hope to see you there!
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Looking Forward to Celebrating Your Beauty,
Candice
From Breakdown to Breakthrough
December 2008
Sometimes a breakdown can be the beginning of a kind of
breakthrough, a way of living in advance through a
trauma that prepares you for a future of radical
transformation.
- Cherrie
Moraga
Life is a series of
breakthroughs.
Consider the way in which we come into the world. Quite
literally breaking through, we begin the cycle of life
as we know it. We are pushed into being by a force
beyond our control. What lies on the other side of the
trauma that we are experiencing is unknown, and is
therefore feared. Soon we learn that the same force
that pushed us into the world is the essence of
nourishment and safety. Nevertheless, in the moment of
birth and emergence, we cry out as the light pierces
the veil of darkness. Naturally, we wince at a power
that exceeds comprehension.
We spend the rest of our life re-living this birth
pattern, comforts followed by contractions. These
contractions often come to us as breakdowns - some
aspect of our life threatening to dissolve. Each time,
life is leading us to a new emergence (greater light)
so that we might experience more brilliance - of
insight, of connection, of purpose. Through each and
every breakdown - however dark it may seem - is the
womb through which more light will emerge. Thus, each
breakdown is a breakthrough - a state of emergenc-y in
the truest sense.
If we so choose, we may reframe our approach to the
emergencies of life. There is no denying that such
seasons of change can be painful and confusing. The
time spent in the midst of breakdown is a time of
contraction requiring strength and endurance, and can
be especially difficult if the light of breakthrough
cannot be readily seen in the distance. A breakdown
forces us from the comfort of the status quo so that we
might acknowledge what we have too long denied. We have
become dependent on habits that we have outgrown, and
we are being forced to take our life to the next level.
Generally, breakdowns are met with fear. (Just look no
further than current state of our financial sectors for
evidence of this on a cultural level). The natural
energy of fear is contraction, withdrawal, and
sometimes panic. In times of breakdown, we are
conditioned to feel smaller as we are faced with a
force beyond our control. We may feel defeated,
ill-equipped, and unsure of what is to come. In
essence, we ask the same questions that we did not have
words for as we emerged from the womb - where oh where
could these contractions be taking us?!
I suggest we approach this
time of contraction with consciousness, introspection,
and a certain degree of trust. Activate your inner
witness, and assess what is no longer in harmony with
your most heartfelt desires. Ask yourself:
What habits
have I outgrown? How am I being asked to change? In
what ways am I limiting the possibilities in my life?
And, what am I most afraid of? In this way, we consciously
engage with each contraction, willingly and openly
breathing through the waves of challenge in the hope of
greater insight.
Yet awareness, while most
essential, is only the yin of it. in the end - and only
you will know when it is time - you must be prepared to
engage the yang within...to push your way out.
Contractions get closer together; discomfort forces you
into action...and you facilitate your own rebirth by
taking courageous steps that align you with the
potential you are stepping into.
Listening to the wisdom of
breakdown, we learn from it, and thereby facilitate
breakthroughs in our own lives. Keep in mind,
reflection can be made easier in the company of a
coach, an ally, or a dear friend. When we are held in
the spirit of self-empathy, fear is transmuted into
power. When navigated consciously, fear can actually be
used as a wisdom that results in a more expansive you.
Just as contractions enable birth, if allowed, fear
enables new life. Contraction begets expansion.
Breakdown begets breakthrough.
Keep in mind, most
breakthroughs happen in stages. Each and every
contraction bringing more awareness of how we must
continually move and grow. Take it one step at a time,
and know that the joy of a new path is emerging:
AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY
IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
by Portia
Nelson
Chapter
I:
I walk down the
street.
There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk
I fall in.
I am
lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes
me forever to find a way out.
Chapter
II:
I walk down the same
street.
There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see
it.
I fall in again.
I can't
believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my
fault.
It still takes a long time
to get out.
Chapter
III:
I walk down the same
street.
There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I
still
fall in ...
it's a habit.
My eyes are
open.
I know where I am.
It is my
fault.
I get out
immediately.
Chapter
IV:
I walk down the same
street.
There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk.
I walk around
it.
Chapter
V:
I walk down another
street.
Seeing The Light Ahead,
Candice
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Light From Within
November 2008
Cowardice asks the question, Is it safe?
Expediency asks the question, Is it politic?
Vanity asks the question, Is it popular?
But, conscience asks the question, Is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position
that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one
must take it because one's conscience tells one that it
is right.
Martin Luther King, Jr
Courage is be true to what
is in your heart, even in the face of potential
backlash. There is pressure in our culture to be
politically neutral in the arena of business. Like the
separation of church and state, we often keep our
principles and politics out of the workplace and
confine it to our homes. In many instances, there is
wisdom in such intentions. Too often, personalities
become intertwined in political debates and everyone
loses in the need to be right. For some reason we find
cause to argue, caught in the out-dated illusion that
in order to be for something we have to be against
someone.
Nevertheless, tonight I challenge the status quo. I
step out of the box. I become transparent in my
principles because, for the first time in my life, I
feel the emergence of a leader who echoes my
conscience. My business and my practice are really a
reflection of who I am, and an aim to share my gifts
through the way I am designed to serve. And so, with
joy and an unprecedented feeling of my own ideals and
truths reflected, I share my unabashed joy at the
election of Barack Obama as the new president of the
United States. In doing so, I take the risk that some
of you will confuse my principles with political issues
and turn a derisive ear on my musings. It's a chance I
am willing to take; as I believe that truth and
transparency always lead us closer to what unites us in
the end.
Hope is the voice within, that in the absence of all
evidence insists that Light is still present.
Hope, a fundamental SHiNE
Principle.
I can't ever remember
feeling connected to a political leader who lived and
drew breath in my lifetime. I have yearned to feel
inspired by, not only a personality, but a message that
resonates at the core of who I am. My life has been a
bumpy journey guiding me towards the ideals of truth,
humility, grace, compassion, and most of all, hope.
I so often looked around at the world in which I lived
with confusion, wondering if the unity, diplomacy, and
promise that I know is possible might ever be reflected
back to me on a large scale in my lifetime. As a child
who moved from small town to small town, I felt
isolated from the world of stability and abundance. As
an adolescent I was baffled by my small but powerful
reality that demanded an offensiveness of me that I
didn't inherently possess. As a young college student,
I dove into philosophy, religion, and ancient texts as
substitutes for the leadership I yearned for in my
coming of age. And as a young adult, I have often felt
I am designed to live in a different world than the one
reflected back to me in our cultural habits and
expectations. Nevertheless, I have fought to live the
life of hope through my choices. No matter what safety,
expedience, and vanity might have to say...inner
authority matters most of all. And there is a light
inside of me - however dim it may seem at times - that
says it is possible to be who I am in this world. It is
indeed possible to recreate a world in which everyone
feels he or she has a place and a significance.
Tonight, I shed tears of joy as I witnessed a crowd of
hundreds of thousands of people like me (young,
diverse, and full of promise) with light and
possibility in their eyes. While I have confidence in
Obama's principles and what he represents, I did not
vote for a man, an issue, or an icon. I voted for a
message of hope and unity. I have no doubt that as a
president he will face challenges, and I pray that as
Americans we offer he and his family the grace of
humanness. However, it is the premise of possibility
and common purpose that inspires me beyond he, the
person. It is what his brilliance elicits in others
that matters most to me. It's the look of
determination, inspiration, and strength that I saw
reflected in eyes of so many in the crowd that gathered
all over the country that moved me to tears. You see,
as a coach and teacher, I know the power of a will
driven by purpose. Nothing stands in the way of the
promise of possibility when the will is self-initiated
and encouraged.
Change will not come if we wait for some other person
or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting
for. We are the change that we seek.
Barack Obama
I have never felt more
certain and motivated in my work and in the potential
of a new world. Tonight, I cried for the child inside
of me - and the ancient archetype inside of so many
around the world - who never thought someone like her
could ever be fully accepted by the world in which we
live.
Regardless of your political affiliation, may you have
the courage to look beyond division and find a way to
unify and align with the greater good that we all seek.
I respect you fully for your beliefs, your principles,
and your vote in any direction. May we embrace a world
where we can all be honored and listened to in our joys
and successes, and more importantly in our
disappointments and frustrations.
Personally, I see a universal victory in the outcome of
this election. In this season of long days of darkness,
we are forced look to the light within - the spark of
potential felt, yet unseen in the absence of sun. It is
from that prick of light inside that spring is seeded.
In actuality, potential for change comes not from an
outside source, but from our own conviction and inner
compass in life. May we all tend to the hope within in
order to unite in a common purpose. After all, in the
end, it is our differences that empower and enable us
to experience deep love, living in a symphonic harmony
that sameness simply cannot express.
Yours as a New American,
Candice
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Embracing The Many Paths
September 2008
Many
are the names of God and infinite the forms
through which He may be approached.
- Ramakrishna, 18th century Indian Sage
When we hear the word yoga most of us think of
conscious movement, repetitions of downward facing
dogs, sweaty palms, and deep breathing. I find it
inspiring that so many in our culture are inhabiting
their bodies more, and channeling the built-up stresses
of a restless spirit into conscious mind-body practice.
Even as a practitioner myself, I have always known that
modern-day yoga is a secular by-product of a spiritual
tradition that dates back centuries.
In my recent studies as an enthusiastic grad student
(see announcement about AIHT!), I have been skimming
the surface of my coursework. I was immediate drawn
into some writings on Hinduism and the origins of yoga.
Simplified, "yoga is a method of training designed to
lead to integration or union." And while we are
accustomed to a practice designed to unify body and
mind through movement (making it more marketable and
accessible to a secular world hungry for fitness and
stress-relief), the origins of yoga reveal greater
depth and meaning.
To simplify, four paths are available to actualize the
human potential through yoga. Raja Yoga (the way
through psychophysical exercise) is what many
modern-day practices have been derived from. Other
paths include: Karma Yoga (the way through work and
action), Bhakti Yoga (the way through love and
devotion), and Jnana Yoga (the way through knowledge
and wisdom). The Hindu faith believes that all paths -
yes, even those of other religions - lead to the same
ultimate destination: integration with the Infinite
(spirit by any name is one and the same). The four
paths of yoga acknowledge that different human
temperaments approach their relationship to the Divine
uniquely. Peering more closely into yoga as a
multidimensional practice has opened my eyes to what it
means to be a yoga practitioner and a human.
Too often we reject the most wonderful aspects of a
spiritual tradition we know little about because we
have an all-or-none mentality. But what if we replaced
that with an
all-is-one mentality and embraced the brilliance
ignited within as the truest teaching, while learning
from a variety of sources?
If you feel so inspired, join me this month and expand
your practice as a yogi or yogini to "embrace the many
paths." Simplify the essence of each and then choose
the medicine that speaks to your need in the moment.
Maintain awareness of your mental and physical energy
and keep movement alive through life as a meditation
(raja yoga). Allow more of your actions to become
thoughtful and a selfless expression of the Life moving
through you (karma yoga). Express love and devotion
towards the form and formlessness that Spirit takes in
your life (bhakti yoga). And intuit and discern between
that which is real and lasting truth and that which is
the illusory and fleeting dance of the ego (jnana
yoga).
Remember, what moves you at your deepest core is what
matters to your life most in the moment. Claim your
personal practice of growth and transformation. Stay
alive and open in the now. And embrace all paths that
bring you home to the Universal Divine. Take what
speaks to you, and let the rest go by.
Honoring All As One,
Candice
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Inner Authority
August 2008
At
the deepest level, the level of the soul, you are the
author of everything that happens to you.
- Deepak
Chopra
Inner Authority. It is an
essential component in following one's own path of
brilliance. The word "authority" implies both a sense
of sovereignty and, perhaps less obviously, the ability
to author and/or create an outcome. Inner Authority
(Mahatma Gandhi called it soul
force) places the power to
create back in your heart and hands. Soul Force is
hard-wired to override evidence (or opinions) to its
contrary. It is a knowing that, at times, defies
reason. And due to its unreasonable and unworldly
nature, it brings you closer to the Divine.
Through experience in working with my own internal
guidance and authority, I have learned to trust it.
When I resist the guidance that I receive within
(usually due to fear of failure or judgment), my outer
world begins to express symptoms of my soulular
discomfort. If I push my limits, my body may begin to
shut down or pack on the pounds. If I continue to do
something that no longer inspires me, conflicts may
begin to emerge or money may stop flowing freely. All
in all, my life seems to be divinely orchestrated; I
only need have the courage to respond to its cues.
In this month's recommended reading, Deepak Chopra
lists what he calls the Three Requirements to
be Happy on The Soul Level. He invites us to ask the
following questions:
Do I act without effort?
Do I feel joy in what I do?
Are my actions bringing results?
He very plainly put into
words the process that I have been going through over
the past few months. I am delighted to report that I am
taking steps to shift the order of my everyday so that
I can again answer an emphatic YES! to each of the
above.
Now what about you? How is
your soul represented in your everyday? Your physical
reality is a reflection of your soulular
alignment...yes, at all times. Are you making choices
that are in integrity with the truth of you, the
highest expression of who you can be at this moment? If
so, Grace will walk alongside you as an ally. Or it may
be that you are ready to make some space for your
soul's deepest truths to emerge with more ease.
Choices, one at a time, are all that stand between you
and the deepest level of joy and fulfillment you could
ever know.
Saying Yes Now,
Candice
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Metamorphosis
July 2008
If
you receive guidance that compromises your
physical comfort,
would you be willing to follow it?
- Caroline
Myss
The translucent butterfly
(pictured above) has become a mascot for my own path of
trusting the promise of brilliant living. Allow her
journey to shed some light:
One day a lone
caterpillar was suddenly called. She was told by the
force of her very nature to retreat into solitude and
containment in order to experience a death of one self
into another.
In saying yes, she was called to a resting place -
suspended in thin air. There she began to shed her
skin. It was frightening! Who would she be without it?
The form she once knew was replaced by a shell and she
was enveloped by darkness and paralysis. She couldn't
move. Where exactly was she? And what had
happened to all the light?! She hung, suspended between
two lifetimes within one. She waited in the dark, at
times feeling very afraid and alone - wondering why she
had agreed to such a calling. Yet all the while, she
felt a spark of promise whispering from deep, deep
within.
Over time, the light inside her very core - once faint
- became a wellspring of divine light. It kept her warm
and safe as she felt who she once was dissolve and
transform. It was scary to be stripped of her very
caterpillar nature and all that she once knew. She
wondered what might become of her...and what would be
her place in the world? At times she fought the urge to
break free from this cocoon that surrounded her. To
squirm back out into the world as she once was. Yet
each time she tried, the path was denied. She knew that
in heeding that first call, there was no turning back.
In time, a potential deep within her pushed its way to
the surface. She was ignited by possibility and an
outrageous freedom to take flight. And all in one
miraculous instant she felt death and new life merge.
She pushed, she squirmed, and she broke free - soaring
into the unknown.
Like the caterpillar,
sometimes we are called to be born anew - towards the
next grandest vision of how we might best serve the
world. Our interconnectedness to All That Is becomes
apparent - if we are humble enough to heed the call.
Paradoxically, with each of our mini-incarnations we
come to understand that to live and make choices in
authentic self-love is far from a selfish pursuit. By
following the compass of our soul, we give our best to
the world around us.
For some of us, it is a call we will receive many times
in our life. Letting go of what was once a comfortable
existence and accepting the promise of something that
requires we change who we think ourselves to be. And it
usually requires we (temporarily at least) surrender
the physical comforts that we once knew (relationships,
career paths, and sometimes the approval of friends and
family).
In fact, one of the most challenging aspects of a time
of transformation is the potent force of the unknown.
We wonder, "where did the light go?" as experiences
that once inspired us no longer ignite our soul...or as
those who once held us in high opinion question our
path of change. Yet the darkness and self-containment
is the greatest gift of all. It is by experiencing this
season in which we are cut off from the light sources
in our external world that we learn to tap Brilliance
and Guidance from within.
I encourage you to the heed the soulful call that comes
your way. A calling on the modern spiritual path is not
a booming voice from beyond. Instead it creeps in
through the cracks of our daily existence - through
physical or emotional imbalances that threaten us to
grow and change or continue on suffering.
And may more of us emerge from our cocoons with the
promise of the transluscent butterfly. May the wings
that carry our brilliance out into the world be clear
and transparent so that the glory of the True Source
might SHiNE through in our everyday flight.
Cracking Through My
Cocoon,
Candice
Click here to see a caterpillar's
journey to butterfly on
YouTube.
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The Power of Choice
June 2008
It's
choice...
that determines your destiny.
Jean
Nidetch
As a coach, I come across
people everyday who are in a season of transition.
Often I sit with a client as she weighs her options in
regards to the various aspects of life. Be it venturing
out on a new career path, taking a relationship to the
next level, or rising from a season of depression,
people come looking for a container of grace in which
all facets of a situation can be seen more clearly.
Through experience, I have learned the power of
language as a tool for transformation. The simple act
of attending to our inner dialogue has the power to
change the course of our thinking...and of our lives.
When teaching exercises in conscious communication
(stay tuned, workbook coming soon!), I suggest we flag
certain words in order to shift the flow of energy in
our minds and hearts. This creates a reset function in
regards to our thinking and can be the key ingredient
to shift a mental construct for good.
Make Choices vs. Decisions
When I hear a client
say..."I need to decide, and I'm just not sure what to
do." It is then I know that choice is the medicine of
the moment. To decide in a moment of ambivalence forces
a false sense of finality to the present moment. I
invite us to honor the now of our reality, rather than
focusing on the how (which is a function of the future,
taking us out of the moment). Sometimes when we feel
pressure to make decisions (knowing how), rather than
choices (knowing now), we inadvertantly disempower
ourselves. We make assumptions about the future and add
unnecessary weight to our choices - assuming we know
where each will lead us over time. We bind ourselves to
a way of being that may serve us in the moment, yet not
necessarily long-term. And, most of all, we rob
ourselves of the freedom to experience the miracle that
is a change of heart.
Choices are authentic, in-the-moment, and ever-changing
- as are we! To choose is to evoke the essence of self
acceptance and allows room for growth. Choice is a
priviledge meant to evolve us towards more responsible
expressions of who we are in the world. The highest
choices are those that create more peace, love, and
harmony in the world around us. We can decide to change
the world, but can only happen one choice at a time.
So this month, practice
presence. And if and when you feel the weight of
decision upon you, choose what feels right in the
moment instead. Respond to the now and release the how.
Thanks to inspirational singer and songwriter, India
Arie, we have the perfect anthem for this month's
focus:
I
Choose,
by India Arie
listen to it
now
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Ministry of Love
May 2008
I
Have
Learned
So much from God
That I can no longer
Call
Myself
A Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim,
A Buddhist, a Jew.
The
Truth has shared so much of Itself
With me
That
I can no longer call myself
A man, a woman, an angel,
Or even pure
Soul.
Love
has
Befriended Hafiz so completely
It has turned to ash
And freed
Me
Of
every concept and image
My mind has ever known.
Hafiz,
Sufi Poet
I am drawn to the writings
of Sufi Masters such as Hafiz. Many of these great
teachers share connection with a heartfelt spirit-led
way of living that defies the conceptual mind. Sufism
is a mystical tradition of ancient Islam. We can dip
into its essence when working towards a global unity -
touching the depth of spiritual inquiry where all the
lines of this world of form blur, merging into a one
religion without dogma. All paths are honored when we
pierce the veil of concepts and begin to know
God.
Nevertheless, living in the
world of form means embracing life and its constructs.
To continue in our evolution, we wrap words around
feelings and apply labels to the paths we tread. These
too can be sacred acts, when we approach them with the
understanding that our feelings and pathways can be
treated as reflections of how connected we are to the
All of Life.
On the
SHiNE blog I recently shared my personal evolution
through labels as divine signposts - shifting my focus
onto a path that more accurately reflects my passion
for service. (You can
read more here). In essence, for too long
I was asleep at the wheel. The illusion of so-called
survival mode was leading me to make unconscious
choices based on what I could get. I was left empty -
in more ways that one. Then, again and again, I asked
for guidance - I wanted to wake up. Love befriended me,
and the path of ministry and service became clearer
each time I sought Its counsel. I have always known my
deepest desire is to walk in the world as a
minister/conduit of love itself. And my greatest gift
to the world is seeing - and fostering - the inherent
wholeness in everyone that I mean.
A client
recently asked me how my current business might change
as a result of shift to "ministry." Would I still be
available to help her with the nuts and bolts of her
business plan? I was so pleased that she asked. For my
hope is that SHiNE as a collection of services can
redefine ministry - expanding its definition to include
anything that enlivens you to more inspired and
purposeful living. So my answer was "absolutely, yes!"
SHiNE Ministry includes service in the form that suits
your heart's calling in the moment - be it business,
livelihood, parenthood, relationship, spirit-based
counseling, or movement as medicine. The primary focus
at the core of all SHiNE offerings: supporting you so
that you might give the best of yourself in each
moment.
And
let's re-define giving
while we're at
it, yes?! Harmonious giving is not self-sacrificing at
its deepest level. On the contrary, it relies on an
awareness that honoring the self (see last
month's
feature article) is the foundation for
authentic generosity and abundant living through
giving. When we truly know ourselves, the fear of
giving dissolves. The illusions of lack, separation,
loss of self, competition, and victimization fall away.
Freedom is truly found in giving of ourselves - from a
place of wholeness.
This
month, I invite you to give of yourself in some unique
way. Step out of bounds and experience how your
brilliance shared is to honor love in all its forms -
in, as, and through you.
We
make a living by what we get.
We make a life by what we give.
Winston
Churchill
Blessings,
Candice
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Acts of Self-Love
April 2008
Well-ordered
self-love is right and natural.
St. Thomas Aquinas
In recent weeks, I have
become more aware than ever that I have much to learn
about self-care. It's a common paradox for those of us
in paths of service. Continually we encourage others to
honor personal rhythms of healing, while ignoring the
lights flashing in our own hearts. It's true indeed
that we teach what we need to learn. I have come to
notice that, quite often, in coaching sessions I am the
messenger administering the medicine to us both via
intuition and unexpected verbal elixirs.
It has been said before, love is an action. It is a
series of choices. And so, when it comes to shining
love inward, we must compassionately observe the
choices that we make repeatedly throughout the day. How
often are we present to what is alive in the moment? Do
we sometimes override impulses to self-nurture in order
to feed perceived urgencies in our environment? It
takes only awareness to rewind, and re-choose.
True Self-love is hardly a singular or selfish pursuit.
In actuality, it is blatantly spiritual - an act of
reverence for the energy from which you came. Honor
your body as a sacred temple, your mind as fertile
ground for divine awareness, and your heart as a
blessed antennae steadfast in rhythmic dance with all
of life.
We only appreciate our good or evil
in proportion to our self-love.
François
de la Rochefoucauld
It is a worthwhile practice
to meditate on the quote above. It is our relationship
to self-love that guides our perceptions in life. Take
any event in your life and hold it inward in your
awareness. If the light of self-love is dimly lit, you
may see yourself as a victim of circumstances. Lack of
light may taint your view of What-Simply-Is to
incorporate a poor self-image, feeding inner drama and
suffering. Depressing stories are built - not upon
circumstances - but upon forgetfulness of the
Brilliance within.
If, however, you have access to the abundance of light
inside...if you see yourself as an essential aspect of
the light of goodness, suddenly the world around you
looks much different. You will see that each and every
response to circumstance is built upon the choice that
you make in the moment. Heightened self-love results in
acceptance and self-empowerment, and both are
unattached to storytelling as a means to justify
feeling good. Loving the light within is timeless and
unconditional with practice, regardless of what
happened "once upon a time."
Investing in mini-acts of self-love is the greatest
gift that you can give to those around you. Over time
you see that your inner light needs to be fed with
awareness in order for you to give the best of you to
others. So take that walk in the park in the middle of
the day, feed yourself healthy perpectives, and surely
it can't hurt to give yourself a hug from time-to-time.
In re-igniting your bliss, you become evermore
committed to passing it along:
"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared."
- Buddha
Reaching my Light to
yours,
Candice
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Friendship Connection
March 2008
A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.
- Ralph
Waldo Emerson
It is a rare and most precious gift. Friendship. To
give it is an honor - friendship teaches us how to be
present and unconditional with another like us. To
receive it is an art - to allow another to peer into
our hearts requires a surrendering to self-love.
Whether it's talking with clients or holding space for
community in a class, I see the power of connection at
work. There is no greater expression of divinity than
opening our heart to another. When we offer ourselves
in communion with others, it is our purity that
determines the degree of reciprocity. Empathy (I see
You) coupled with Honesty (You see Me) creates a
brilliant synthesis that transcends the drama of any
given moment.
Many of us (myself included) are sometimes afraid of
true connection. Our vulnerability is our best kept
secret, and so we reach out in our communications with
a facade of togetherness. Or better yet, a
misrepresentation of where we are in the moment. We are
drained by interactions because holding ourselves
hostage is exhausting. Such instances most often happen
on subtle levels. Consider an interaction with a
grocery store clerk where a smile is forced and
- How are you?...Fine,
thanks - is as routine as our form
of payment. You might say, but I don't even
know
that person!
Ah, but you know what it is to be human. You know that
the desire for connection is universal. And if you take
a single instance (and by the way, time stands still
when eyes lock) to reach forth with authenticity, you
will receive the salve of oneness - a transparency that
unites and heals us from the inside out.
Consider your friendships a training ground for true
connection. Authenticity, vulnerability, and generosity
are potent powers that can be cultivated in a loving
friendship. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by
loving and conscious friends, committed to sharing in
the journey towards expressing the Highest Love.
Become your own best friend this month by welcoming the
many aspects of you into your awareness. If you should
feel moved to, join us on Monday evenings as we share
in the journey of A New Earth. This is a rare
opportunity to self-reflect through a 10-week course
designed to awake us in order to know ourselves better.
I am committed to holding a space where you can be you,
raw and true. Bring your joys and your fears, thePortal
is vast, expansive, and most potent when authenticity
is present.
No matter who you are and what your challenges, I see
you whole. I see your divinity, and I see your purpose.
And, I consider you a friend.
My Door Is Always
Open,
Candice
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Praise Her
January 2008
Praise
is literal food for feminine qualities. If you
want a woman to grow in her radiance, health,
happiness, love, beauty, power, and depth, praise
these qualities. Praise them daily, a number of
times.
- David Deida, Way of the Superior
Man
I have learned much from my
work as a SHiNE Agent. As a teacher, guide, and coach
facilitating brilliance in others, I have come
face-to-face with myself. Sometimes with joy, other
times with apprehension . In 2008, I am focusing on
walking the talk even more, as I work (and play) hard
to unleash the latent powers that lie dormant within. I
am pleased to note that, this year, I myself have a
coach and mentor to assist me on my journey to a more
rich and fulfilling expression of how Brilliance works
through me.
Becoming the client again has reminded me of the
courage that it takes to reach out for support. Through
my work, I learn more and more that the desire to be
acknowledged for our deepest essence is inherent and
universal. Nature intended that we create a web of
brilliant support around us to nourish our growth.
Thus, when our pride keeps us from reaching out for
connection with others, it does us a great disservice.
It often leads us to the most tragic disconnection that
can happen - disconnection with the divine spark
within.
The majority of my students and clients are women. This
month being the month of love, I feel compelled to
reach out to each one of you with a brilliant reminder.
You are an essential aspect of a Radiant and Powerful
Energy that deserves to be praised and worshipped
daily! Worshipped? By who? Well, by YOU, of course!
If you aren't sure how to gift yourself with the
awareness of self-love and put it into action in your
life, we can help. I invite you to attend a class or
schedule a coaching session soon. I am always honored
to facilitate a container for recognition,
self-celebration, right action, and praise. You are a
perfect and essential facet of the Divine Brilliance
alive in all of us. Self-love, when understood in its
purity, is far from an egoic pursuit. It is the
recognition of Oneness, not separation, that activates
our SHiNE. Let's work together to remind one another,
yes?
In 2008, I am more committed than ever to serving you
through a new program: The SHiNE Ministry. Visit my
blog to tag along as I experience various spiritual
communities, reporting on brilliant outlets in the
Portland area. Or, join me for a class, coaching
session, or New Earth SHiNE Circle in the coming weeks.
I look forward to seeing you soon.
With Love,
Candice
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Self Love
January 2008
There
is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is
translated through you into action; and because
there is only one of you in all time, this
expression is unique. If you block it, it will
never exist through any other medium. It will be
lost.
The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is,
nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other
expressions. It is your business to keep it yours
clearly and directly, and to keep the channel open.
-
Martha Graham
It's easy to judge your brilliance as nothing
special...for you can't possibly see it clearly.
Imagine asking the sun to see it's own light. What
light? How can I separate from what I am enough to see
it?
A friend and colleague of mine recently shared with me
a practice that she did in school as a child. They
called it carrying your ilac card. At the beginning of
the day, each student received a card that read: I love
and care for myself. As they moved through the rest of
their day, they were told to tear away pieces of the
card whenever they thought, said, or did something that
tore away at their sense of self-love. It proved to be
an insightful practice, no doubt. The best part? Each
day they would receive a new, untainted card to keep
whole again.
When I ponder our culture's collective approach to the
new year, it seems to me that we are issued an ilac
card each January 1st. As a result, resolutions are
defined and courses set for new destinations. Yet, what
happens when we slip a bit...when a split-second choice
tears away at our resolve? Do we hang our heads in
despair?...or do we approach each day with wholeness in
our hearts?
This year, I invite you to commit to a year of love,
nuturing, and forgiveness. Your very essence is coded
to be different than those around you. Discovering a
path that works for you is a journey that demands
diligence and perserverence. Your goal is not too be
perfect...but to purrrfect the choices you make to
serve you better over time. In order to do that, you
become a deliberate observer. Notice which choices tear
away at you time and time again, and reclaim your
personal power to SHiNE by loving yourself whole again.
It's a simple path - one choice at a time. And help is
only a scroll away.
Begin Again... and Again... and Again,
Candice
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Yielding
December 2007
Remember
that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of
luck.
- His Holiness the Dalai
Lama
Each year at this time, I
spend time in healthy self-reflection. This December, I
am quite humbled by the manner in which blessings,
revelations, and understanding have be revealed to me
in the past year. It is the unexpected challenges (or
opportunities in disguise) that I am most grateful for.
It has been a practical reminder that I have a choice -
to resist or force static conditions...or to allow my
life to be orchestrated by something much larger than
me. Something that always - and in all ways - has my
greatest good in store. Don't get me wrong...I know
what I want. And I take actions towards that end each
day. But what about where I am right now. Is it not
paving the way perfectly? Is not the
present
moment a
gift,
a desire fulfilled in some way? I respond with an
emphatic YES!...even when I am unable to explain how.
It's not up to me to solve such Mysteries. Only to
learn to live and swim within the vast expanse of the
Unknown...and to yield to the scope of a Higher Vantage
Point beyond.
Looking for a sign from your
brilliance?
Give
right of way to your SHiNE this holiday
season...
Warm Holiday Blessings,
Candice
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Embrace Gratitude
November 2007
Gratitude
is the memory of the heart.
- Jean Baptiste Massieu
I love the idea of a
remniscent and grateful heart. I could reflect volumes
on what the heart has led me to know in my short life.
It is upon its urgings that I continually traverse the
majestic mountain of my spirit's longing. And the
ever-more expansive views continually take my breath
away! This month, I sit in silent celebration of the
imprints of self-love that gratitude has left deep
within my heart.
I looked up the etymology of the word gratitude. There
are many derivations listed...however, I am most struck
by the root of the word as: grace, to welcome. How much
of the time do we graciously welcome the remarkable
conditions of our life? Do we fight with tooth and nail
to change them so that we might find peace in our
hearts (chasing the dragon for days, months, years at a
time)? Or do we look deeply within out hearts, invite
gratitude, and welcome the path that is revealing us
one glorious petal at a time? I commit to choosing the
latter more often. While I do understand gratitude to
be an agent of creation (modern metaphysics teaches us
to give thanks in advance for that which our heart
desires)...I am more inclined to feel an authentic and
divine buzz of appreciation when I allow my heart to
remember, notice, and celebrate the many miracles of
everyday magic in my current reality. It is in this
space that I feel my heart SHiNE with gratitude and
remembrance.
In coaching sessions and teacher trainings, I often
hear myself reminding clients to reframe their
perspectives. I witness that we are often cynical in
our approach to our life circumstances. Yet, by
consciously shifting our vantage point from one of
critical perplexity and resistance to curious wonder
and acceptance, we create a space for gratitude to
emerge.
Invite Wonder. Embrace Gratitude.
Not for what it might bring you to do so,
but for all that your heart already possesses in the
simple act of holding you close.
With Wonder-filled Gratitude,
Candice
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Falling
October 2007
Autumn is a second spring
when every leaf is a flower.
- Albert Camus
September blew through me
like a sudden storm. I am in awe that yet another month
has passed so quickly. Yet the bloom of color outdoors
is making October quite real. And my world continues to
shift and blow with the autumn winds. It is a blissful
ride.
This month, the message is simple. I invite you to be
mindful of all that falls around you. Become
intoxicated by your own sensations of this magical
season. Smell how the air breathes a certain crispness.
Taste the flavor of new earth freshly dampened. Take
time to look up. Yes, up. The wisdom of the trees is
beckoning to you from above. If you pause long enough,
you will find yourself on a high of sorts, drinking in
the colors of fall. And if you dare, reach out and
touch nature with your dance by letting pieces of you -
those you are ready to shed - rejoin the earth with the
autumn leaves at your feet.
Free your warm summer heart.
May it quiver and shake to the surface
blossom in colors vast
and fall to the earth once more.
Falling on Purpose,
Candice
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Trust
September 2007
You are perfectly safe as long as you are completely
unconcerned about your readiness, but maintain a
consistent trust in mine.
- A Course in Miracles
Living a path of brilliance is a courageous surrender
to the harmonious flow of life. I experience trust as
an active endeavor and a choice in each moment - the
perfect balance between conscious direction of purpose
and peaceful yielding to the view far above my scope.
I see the space inside me like the contours of a river
bed, being shaped and transformed by the force of
creativity that dares me to give it license. Fear would
have me resist the unknown agendas of the currents of
life; yet Love is there to embrace the shadow dancer
within me - illuminating darkness with awareness. When
I relax enough to allow light to pour through me with
little to no resistance, I am liberated to likewise
saturate the world around me...fulfilling the path and
purpose of how the world is meant to be experienced
through me.
'Safety' is an undeniable theme in working with clients
who are daring to live their brilliance. Fear,
trepidation, and the force of the unknown can sometimes
drive us into something resembling madness, as we shed
who we always thought we were in order to embrace a new
reality that is emerging. Often fear responds to our
heart's yearnings: "ah, perhaps one day, but certainly
not now. I am not ready for such-and-such to change."
In reality, we are quite ready for a change. It is lack
of trust in something better - the greater good in
store for us - that stagnates our re-creation. In
essence, we presume our deepest yearnings will betray
us in the end, resulting in the paradoxical paralysis
of a society at war within: What my heart yearns
for in its expression is what most resembles me. And it
is this that cannot be trusted. Therefore, that which
most resembles me is unsafe. I must become who I am not
to be functional and secure.
Today, I dare you to completely sever ties to such
faulty logic. Become your greatest ally. Safety is a
choice based on this simple, yet profound, shift in
perception. I challenge you to entertain the idea
that
it is safe to be you. The madness is in
succumbing to fear - resisting how the currents of life
are pushing from within, eager to re-create your outer
world so that you might experience you
in its
fullness. And remember,
recreation is supposed to be fun!
When change is happening, I know without a doubt that I
am ready...or it simply would not be. I am safe when I
choose to trust that the currents of my soul's cries
are carrying me towards an ever-greater good. And that,
my friends, is the best part! Our rivers all pour into
the same ocean...and goodness is the only destination.
Embrace Change. You Are Ready. You Are Safe.
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Integrity
August 2007
Walking the talk. It is the
ultimate journey. Hungry for integrity, the spiritual
seeker in us reaches out
for connection
to resources that will nourish the very foundation of
who we are. Paradoxically, we discover that the more
developed and trustworthy the roots at our feet, the
greater potential for wingspan above.
Integrity (integrated truths as guiding principles) is
a function of witnessing ourselves and others, in each
and every moment, and embracing an honest approach to
all of life. It is an energetic environment where the
ticking time bomb of fear is diffused through
acknowledging the true nature of our intentions each
emerging moment. Integrity is an ally that whispers
over our shoulder in search of the truth:
What is my
intention? Am I walking my talk to the best of my
ability? How are my actions impacting the whole of life
around me? Am I acting in alignment with my core
values? What is motivating my actions in this
moment? And most importantly - when
we feel stuck face-to-face with a truth we can't
swallow - it asks: What exactly am I
afraid of?... inviting us to embrace
the answer as the most potent and powerful truth of the
moment.
Knowing the truth is fairly useless.
Feeling it is profound.
Living it makes all the difference.
David Deida
from The Blue Truth
I love this quote by Deida.
It speaks to my journey to find integrity... a
slow-moving maturation to greater and greater alignment
with my values and practices. I have discoverd
that learning
is an
elementary frolic with the truth... and that
embodying
is the
adolescent struggle to hold tight to truths that we
hope to find salvation in. Yet when we
master
the truth as a
way of being, there is no longer need to hold on to
anything. Integrity becomes a way of life, an
integrated and effortless way of being that embraces it
all. And so, wholeness finds us... again and again and
again... as we are willing to let the light of truth
in. In short, living truth (how ever-changing) is the
path that leads to integrity.
Riding the winds of change,
I am doing my best to welcome truth in. In order to
develop greater intimacy with my own integrity, I have
been openly sharing my truth with you, via my blog, to
get to know its resonance as a way of life. You see, I
believe that truth is not at its best when it is a
static adherence to values and principles. It can
better be experienced as a living resonance that can be
sensed... a tonal quality that speaks of integrity in
the moment and says, "I am delivering the truth of who
I am, right here, right now."
Truth at its worst is the fragmented reflection of
self-righteousness. Truth at its best is the integrated
experience of self-acceptance, wholeness expressed in
thought, word, and action.
I want to invite you along on this journey of
self-discovery with me. Invite the illumination of the
truth of you. There are a number of avenues for you to
travel that are offered here in theMessenger. It is my
hope that wherever you may choose to plant yourself for
a season of discovery, you accept the ways in which it
awakens you to wholeness. Rest into the truth of each
moment so that your roots may spread deep into an earth
that feeds you. Welcome each and every opportunity, and
push against it to reach higher than you ever thought
possible.
Rooting in Richer Soils to Soar Higher,
Candice
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Gratitude in Change
July 2007
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness.
Some momentary awareness
comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!...
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond
- Rumi
The
past month has been rich with opportunities for me.
Aspects of my life have been plucked up by the root,
tearing into the soils of my heart and mind. Yet my
practice is gratitude. I have learned what it is to
truly navigate the path that I preach. I am
experiencing pain without strife... separation without
judgment... and the abyss of the unknown without fear.
I have been guided indeed... to bear witness to how far
I have come, and to spiral ever-higher in my awareness
and abilities to be present and
loving.
I want
to thank each one of you whom has been a witness to me
- as I have shared much of my personal journey
on
The SHiNE Blog in hopes that my daily
illuminations might shed some light on your path.
Remember, you can set up
RSS Feed to any blog, to stay up-to-date
on postings that inspire and inform.
May your summer be filled with the brilliance that
feeds you on every level. Please contact me if you feel
called to SHiNE among others, or in a one-on-one
coaching session.
I am pleased to announce that I will be bringing back
the Sensation
Matters focus group (aka: A SHiNE
Circle), Thursday evenings mid-August. This is an
opportunity for you to experience the power of
spirit-based group coaching to activate your brilliance
this fall. Hope to see you!
SHiNE
On,
Candice
Welcome to SHiNE
May 2007
Welcome to the new and improved layout of theMessenger.
It is my hope that this monthly newsletter will offer
you regular inspiration to live your brilliance.
After
some soul searching, I have recently shifted the focus
of my work to more directly reflect my passions in
life. I realize that in order to do the work that I am
here to do - helping others to connect to the limitless
potential within - I must have the courage to walk the
talk. For a very long time, I have been afraid to step
into the dreams that beckon to me. I am an energy
guide, a motivator, and a channel for living a life
that brings fulfillment on the highest level and the
deepest depths, far beyond the constant tides of
desire.
It is a
mature spiritual seeker that addresses the deep and
subtle yearnings that supercede the unrelenting desires
of the physical. Your outer world demonstrates in your
daily life as a metaphor for the loud whispers and
wisdoms of your heart and soul. It is my passion to
bring about a world where we are interested in these
subtle messages, deciphering them with wisdom, and
basking in the brilliant clarity that they reveal to
us. When we learn to respond to the brilliance within
us, we evolve in our practice of living as
our
life creates us!
A brilliant
existence is not only a possibility, it's a
responsibility. Imagine that you have been delivered a
unique medicine that simply must act through you in
order to work. THIS is your SHiNE. The
"i" in shine is lowercase for a reason.
It is to remind you that
your potential comes from something larger that exists
all around you. You only need surrender your egoic
dance, get out of the way, and rest in the center to
find it.
theMessenger
is all about delivering SHiNE directly to your inbox...
now featuring inspired writings -
visit my BLOG online - as well as links to various
individuals who have brilliance to share with you.
Thank you, as always, for exploring theMessenger. May
you discover your SHiNE through the many resources
offered here, or wherever it might choose to happen
upon you.
Have a BRiLLiANT day!
Candice
Walking Outside
April 2007
For years, copying other people,
I tried to know myself.
From within, I
couldn’t decide what to do.
Unable to see, I heard my name being called.
Then I walked outside.
- Rumi
I am always amazed at
how the longer days of Spring immediately shed new
light upon all aspects of my life. It's as though the
secrets that the winter spent unearthing have suddenly
sprung to the surface...and I am left in wonder of the
next inevitable rebirth in my personal and professional
life.
For a very long time, I have invested my talents in
mediums created by others. These disciplines, and their
respective mentors, have taught me countless lessons
for which I am endlessly grateful. And now comes the
time for me to create a vehicle of my own. I have been
a fitness teacher, a wellness educator, and a
performer. Yet in my heart of hearts, I am a spiritual
guide.
I have long dreamed of writing and leading seminars
worldwide, guiding people into closer relationship with
themselves and their inner calling. As The Secret has
recently revealed, we all want to feel good and
manifest our desires, yes. However, the essential piece
that gives it all meaning is our relationship to a
divine source. I want to help cultivate that...in me
and in you.
So often I invite you all to SHiNE...and to live your
life in fearless surrender to that which moves you. And
it is time that I walk my talk with greater fervor. I
am realizing that fear is no excuse for inertia.
Movement must happen.
Stay
tuned in the coming months as I move towards my
calling...and walk alongside me. Together we can know
what it is to live an inspired life...on an inspired
planet. This I know for sure.
Walking Outside, Candice
Signs of Love
February 2007
Signs
of
Love
I've just returned from San Francisco where I
co-facilitated the HoopGirl Teacher Training with
HoopGirl's Christabel Zamor. Ten inspiring hoopers from
all walks of life, came together for three days of
intensive training in the HoopGirl Workout teaching
format.
Some of the most profound insights were offered by a
special guest trainee with a unique gift. Meryl, a
passionate young teacher who happens to be hearing
impaired, reminded us all that sharing the love of flow
is an expression beyond words. In fact, each hooper
offered a perfect uniqueness to the program, making it
apparent that the ultimate destination in learning
isn't about all-the-right moves, class formats, or even
technique. The one aim we all
share is a heartfelt desire to shine our light freely,
igniting love in those around us.
Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. To me it is an
annual reminder to reconnect the heart to what feels
good. As the holiday approaches, may I remind you
that love
shined inward spills out boundlessly to those
around you.
Treat yourself to self-seduction this Valentine's Day!
Get to know passionate communion, intoxicating smiles,
and sighs of surrender by falling in love with feeling
good. Shower your body with valentine blisses and
commit to a deeper relationship with your community by
signing up for an upcoming class or special event.
There are abundant opportunities to make love
a priority this month.
Begin in this moment with a deep breath to simply seed
the intention for self-love this month. Shift your
heart to high beam, shine your light, and you are sure
to see bold and brilliant signs of love everywhere you
go. May your footprints act as inspirational signposts
along our journey...as you leave traces of love behind
you wherever you go.
Seeing Signs Everywhere, Candice
Reach Higher
January 2007
Only
as high as I reach can I grow,
only as far as I seek can I go,
only as deep as I look can I see,
only as much as I dream can I
be.
- Karen Ravn
I always look forward
to a new year. As yet another cycle spirals me onward
and upward, I can sense that am on the brink of a new
life. Within is a creative force that stirs me to
become more with each passing moment.
But
how do I transmute the fear of change?
I ask my
breath to show me the way...an energy lubricant that
relies on perfect harmony in order to thrive. In...out.
Expand...contract. Act...release. Each breath teaches
me how to let go. Fear becomes courage...courage
becomes the power to act...and the power to act creates
me anew.
The simple, yet profound, wisdom that can be found in
the body both intrigues me and fills me with promise.
Sensation does matter.
I know
this to be evident in my life, and it is the current
foundation of my life's work. And thus, in 2007, I will
reach higher, seek further, and look deeper. My vision
relies on willing participants. Co-conspirators in
passionate living and innocence reborn. Like-hearted
spirits who are interested in tasting more of life's
flavors, being touched from within, and becoming
prolific in intertwined languages of body, mind,
emotions, and spirit.
Reaching Higher,
Candice
Live Boldly
September 2006
I
will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as a seed
goes to the next as a blossom,
and that which came to me as a blossom,
goes on as a fruit.
- Dawna Markova
One week ago, I
witnessed the birth of my nephew. I was speechless and
awe-struck, as my mind struggled to catch up with the
joy in my heart. Seeing a miracle happen before my very
eyes changed me forever, nudging me to look beyond my
often limited scope. Better yet, it urged me on to
action.
Life
is a precious gift of being... not to be wasted
wondering what to do
with
it.
This fall, I invite you to lighten up and live a bit
more 'carelessly.' To stand hand-in-hand with your
fears while smiling down upon them, grateful for the
elixir of courage they offer. To sever any ties to the
quarrelsome relatives of reason that dampen your
passions and keep you from acting. To release your
grasp on the invisible life preservers that keep you
safe from drowning in the ocean of your heart's
desire.
Your success relies on your willingness to
risk
your significance and live a life where
what moves you is your guiding light. As always, the
message is the same. Discover everyday bliss. Create
everyday magic. And smile every chance you get. Your
life is a miracle unfolding, one choice at a
time.
Each fall promises new adventures, and I support YOU in
creating opportunities to shine. Join me on Sunday
evenings beginning in September, and discover
how Sensation
Matters in your life. Sign up
for Portland's first hoopdance class series:
The
HoopGirl Workout. Order a hoop that
sparkles with the colors that bring out the shine in
you. Or, book a private session - Nia, Hoop, Life
Coaching - devoted completely to
you.
Should you wait to bring your future to life?... Or
will you make a choice today that will inspire your
heart to bear fruit? The butterflies in your stomach
are to be expected. It's the applause of a thousand
angels urging your potential into
being.
Love & Live Boldly, Candice
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