I just finished watching The Moses Code, a relatively new release by director James Twyman. Take the recent hit, The Secret, and add higher consciousness including a heavy emphasis on the role of service and interdependence in spirituality. Unlike the teachings of late that have paved the way, this film is not promoting a metaphysical message focused on empowering the self... instead it emphasizes a holy message intent upon empowering the soul. The movie centers around the words revealed to Moses at the burning bush... I Am That I Am... and offers a suggestion for an entirely new way of approaching this message. I will not go into the particulars... as the purpose of this posting is not to review the movie. There is much to be said about the film... yet, I am writing from a personal place tonight.

There is an undeniable truth that I have been overlooking in my life. It helped reveal itself to me tonight, and I have decoded a perception that is a recent source of great struggle.

Pictured above is me just a few months after I arrived in Portland, over four years ago. As you can see, I looked very different then. I had very short hair... and my body was tight and brimming with muscles from the diligence of daily pushing them to their edge. This was an important season in my life. Beginning in the year 2000, the body you see above carried me through many achievements and much growth. My streamlined physique above reflected my business ethic, my single-minded ambition, and my passion at the time.

This was the true beginning of a destiny that I felt called to embody. It stemmed from a reason for being that resonated within me for as long as I can remember. And in the years from the time of that photo to now, I have witnessed the miraculous. I have watched myself inch ever-more closely to my calling (and I know this, because the voice gets louder). And the primary way that I have done this to date has been to say "yes" to pathways that have enabled me to connect to the voice within. One choice at a time, I awakened to my soul's yearning... saying yes to heartbreak as a journey to self love.... yes to an insatiable spiritual inquiry... yes to the emergence of the leader within in job after job... yes to being unpopular to others in the pursuit of my truth... yes to movement as a vehicle for unleashing my brilliance... yes to hooping as a pathway to understand what enlivens me in the presence of others. Again and again, yes has been leading me home.

Now, I find myself standing at the doorway of my mission as a messenger in this time of great love embodiment. And, suddenly, "no" has stepped in.

I have been experiencing a great paralysis. I am no longer the same driven woman in that picture above... a young soul who manifested opportunity after opportunity... businesses, clients, and projects. The one who dared to dream of a life where she could work for herself. The one who worked endlessly, blasting through to-do lists and pushing through with a warrior mindset. I am the woman on the other side of the wall she busted through. I find myself standing at the point of entry, saying: "Ah yes, now... I know what I can and must do." And... I do nothing! Much unlike this decade of movement that propelled me into the now, anything other than stillness feels false to this new me.

And so, it was today that I wondered aloud to a dear friend, "What is it that stops me from the actions towards this next creation of my soul's deepest yearning?"

The pieces are coming together now. You see, I have felt conflicted in my heart. I have always been wired in such a way that I cannot step forth on a path where my heart does not fully align. I have experienced it admiration, resentment, and utter confusion from others for this inherent trait in me. Yet, I have come to accept it in myself.

The degree to which my heart has been halting the progression of my path as an aspiring author is becoming more clear. I now understand that an old paradigm has expired, and a new one has been forming. I am unwilling to take even a step forward with a worn-out energetic that feels out of integrity with who I am destined to become.

My Destiny in this life is Service.
And the gifts that I am blessed with are not commodity or product.
They are blessed pathways that require Grace and Humility.

The old paradigm is that of the Entrepreneur. Much of its energy hinges on the question of how to take skills and talents and make them a marketable and sustainable source of sustenance in my life. This mode of being is not good or bad, as it certainly served its time in my life. Nevertheless, it has been flipped on its head over the past few months, and I see it now clear as day. I don't know yet how this will change how and what I do... but I do know that a rapid and irreversible revolution is happening with me on a soulular level.

While I am not rejecting the ways of business development as we know them to operate, I am certain that my creative energies will continue to allude me if I continue to yoke them to dollars and cents. In this new world where I see us all benefiting organically from the way in which we are destined to serve this world, a financial plan for a path of transformation feels somehow forced. Certainly, I can set objectives! Yet, I know that what I must create I must create for the sake of serving a greater good.

I must serve because service is needed.
I must give of myself because giving is the only thing that matters.

Even to me it sounds a bit idealistic. How will I pay my bills if I take a month off to write a book? How can I energetically give away my time and energy to causes that need it without room in my budget? I will not go there. I leave such miracles to God. I only know that this is the simplification (however naive) that must take place as I move forward on my path. I opened myself to God through the path of the Entrepreneur... and now the Minister is stepping in to take her place.

It is not that I believe I have to live minimally (or go without the material pleasures in life) to be great in service.... yet I do know that, for me, service must start to proceed my monetary apprehensions and needs to feel secure. I fully appreciate and honor the ways in which the business-mind is shaping my reality and providing me with liberties to have choice over what I do with my time... yet, what AM I doing with my time? This may sound dramatic but everything aside from helping others to feel the light of their brilliance within feels like a slow death to me. Too much time is spent on complex business operations and not enough on the inspirations that pulse through me in the moment.

I am taking my life back now.
I pray for the divine guidance within me to show me the way.

February 2008 - Book of The Month
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
by Eckhart Tolle

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. This is a book that I picked up nearly two years ago, when it was first released. The degree to which the pages are earmarked and inked is a testament to what a treasured resource it continues to be on my spiritual path. I was thrilled when I learned that Oprah Winfrey has joined forces with Eckhart Tolle. They will be sharing this extraordinary work worldwide through a 10-week interactive webinar. - Candice

Creating a New Earth is a Community Event. Join Us.
Our community has the opportunity to be an active participant in a global force, led by Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey. Join Life Coach and Joyful Visionary, Candice Schutter, as she opens her home studio to a gathering of those interested in experiencing the power of collective awakening. Candice will help facilitate exploration of the depths of this work in a weekly offering - equal parts coaching and community book discussion. We will gather as a group to attend the online class LIVE, and then stick around to discuss our experiences. This is a donation-only community event.

A New Earth  SHiNE Circle
Group Coaching & Discussion Group
the SHiNE Portal - NE Portland
Mondays, March 3 - May 5
6:00pm to 8:30pm
6:00pm Webinar (view together)
7:30pm Refreshments & Discussion

Just 3 Easy Steps:

1
SIGN UP ONLINE
at Oprah.com for the online webinar and access to workbook supplements.

2
RSVP to SHiNE
Email us to let use know you plan to attend. Space is limited, so act now.

3
AWAKEN in COMMUNITY
Read each week’s assigned chapters and join us on Monday nights to share in the experience.

Donation Only Event
Please RSVP prior to attending

This year, I have set an intention to visit various spiritual communities. This past Sunday, Daniel and I attended an offering at Maitripa Institute. The wise and internationally recognized Yangsi Rinpoche led a small group of us in a two-hour Tibetan Buddhist dharma talk and practice. It was lovely. There were around a dozen of us seated on meditation cushions before him and a gorgeous and elaborate altar that spread from one wall to the other.

When he entered, we stood out of respect. The Rinpoche then led us in chanting through three prostrations to the altar. Once he turned to face us, we followed the group (clearly his students) as we offered this respected teacher three more full prostrations. Each time, forehead to earth, we honored him with gratitude. Recognizing some new faces in the crowd, he spoke to this practice first. He explained that the gesture of bowing is meant to place the mind in the state of devotion. While we bow before our teacher, it is not about the personality that we bow before. It is instead to bless he whom to the teaching comes through. I am familiar with prostration as a practice, and feel happy to lay my ego at the feet of another - as long as I trust the guidance he or she may provide. I understand that I may choose to graciously decline any teaching as soon as it no longer serves my highest good. It took me some time, but once I came to know this, I became free to truly receive from others in my practice.

The two-hours that followed consisted of combined prayer and chanting. This interspersed with the Rinpoche's teachings of Tibetan Buddhism. My favorite moments were those in which his face exploded with joy. The many laugh lines appearing on his face at the bloom of a smile is enough to make one who doubts reincarnation a believer. Could one lifetime truly fill so much joy into one smile! Ah well, with a smile like that, there is very certainly much to be learned from this humble monk.

We ended with more chanting. I love the rhythms in Tibetan chanting. Each prayer was like a song. Some in Tibet, others in English... no matter the language, they held a similar resonance.

I recommend Maitripa as a place to experience Buddhist practice in action. Be prepared to sit for long periods of time... and be willing to follow the lead of those around you through practices that might feel somewhat foreign. A beautiful environment to connect with the essence of just one aspect of Tibetan culture. Thanks to places like Maitripa, it will never be lost.

Visit Maitripa online

What is My SHiNE Ministry?
You can view all My SHiNE Ministry entries in the blog archive (see sidebar).

Many of us have a burning desire within us that is hidden. I don't mean a desire of the body world (such as in the acquisition of things). Rather, I mean a way of being that we feel somehow called to. I am making mine known and public now.

Deep within, I consider myself a Minister in the making. A messenger of spiritual matters. One who brings heaven to earth via word, thought, and deed. I aspire to become the Priestess.

For a time, I sought out ways in which to embody this... each resulting in an ill-fit. I explored education: a Masters in Divinity would give me credibility, sure. But am I not interested in being a religious scholar. I thought perhaps I needed to find a religious organization to represent and become ordained through. This, too, confused me as I am a Minister of The Spirit of Many, not any one religion or doctrine of practice. Part of what draws me to represent this spiritual re-education in our culture is the way in which I can always see the brilliance (and overlap) in the many religions out there. How does one minister as a representative of the core essence of all religions? There is only one way that I can see to do so. To walk the talk as best I can.

Over time, I have decided to venture out on a Spiritual Apprenticeship of my own making. In 2008, I will be sharing my journeys with you. I will continue visiting various spiritual circles... I have done this intermittently for the past 4 years since I first moved to Portland. Now I will begin to share my experiences with you. I hope to highlight the aspects of each experience that truly ignite spiritual brilliance in me. By experiencing the gift of each practice, and sharing them with you as a service, I am a Minister in Training.

May 2008 lead me to the fulfillment of a life-long desire. My SHiNE Ministry is born.

You can view all My SHiNE Ministry entries in the blog archive (see sidebar).