In recent months, I have been swimming in paradox. It's been a peaceful ride through drastic changes in my day-to-day life. A relationship that brought me closer to my fears in order to overcome them has ended. Our parting was filled with compassion and truth, and left me with a sense of completion and wonder. More love than ever, in this case, means letting go.

Another move (the third in 2008!) across town into a solitary existence for the first time in years has been challenging. Add to that, an epic realization that I am no longer the impassioned movement teacher who moved to Portland five years ago. The teacher in me lives on; however, I am no longer drawn to what I once taught. My relationship with Nia has taken me to where I am today and will always be a part of me... but I no longer have the same urge to teach. Teaching hooping has been a joyous journey of learning and connection... yet the business must continue to evolve with me behind the scenes. I am all at once devastated and relieved to be admitting to what I have known for over a year now. I am transforming into a new kind of teacher... and apparently, what exactly this looks like will not reveal itself until I let go of all that I know.

In a final attempt to revive what-once-was, I taught a couple of events this past month. What happened as a result is not unfamiliar to me... it's an experience I have had in the past when I hold on to a reality when it is no longer serving my highest good. It seems to be my spirit's way of speaking to me when I am not listening.

In this instance, it was a moment of teaching... sensing my body, sharing the experience, weaving cues together in new ways and old, as I have for the past seven years... I felt a part of myself (a part that I identify as my spirit, the witness within) begin to rise up just above my body. It feels similar to some out-of-body experiences that I have read about... only without the woo-woo magic and with a lot more fear! I become immersed in the witness and its vantage point, all the while, I am teaching the class on auto-pilot - without missing a beat. The words flow out, the students respond, and I am suspended slightly above, observing it all. Re-reading this it sounds entirely too mystical... when in actuality, it's far from warm and fuzzy. When it is happening, I feel a surge of anxiety that borders on panic. My sensory perception becomes so heightened that it is almost painful to take it all in... everything amplified - sounds, light, my own emotion. It's like a threshold that I can contain only for so long without going mad. Usually with body awareness, I can recover center once more within a second or two. Anyway, when I tap into this hovering aspect of myself, it always delivers the same message in the end. Something like: I don't want to do this anymore. I've done all I can here. Set me free.

Later, once in-body and out-of-class, I fight back with reason. Come on now! We have invested so much time and energy here. (and yes, it's a "we"). We are good at this and we should keep doing it! This argument is my ego's attempt to reign my spirit in... to get it to sign on for an agenda that is safe and secure. Only, it's not. My spirit plays the trump card when it lifts me out of body. My rational mind is silenced. There is no "reason" for what I am experiencing... and nothing about it feels like what my ego calls "safety."

I was reflecting on this to a dear friend in a moment of sorrow. I told her about a moment of rising above myself teaching on auto-pilot. And the sense of emptiness that I felt while teaching what used to fill my heart with passion. I voiced my frustration and self-judgement ... WHY are things always changing? Why can't I just be great at something and then do it again and again, fulfilled by the service I am offering? Why the need to re-invent myself? Why I am rejecting the status quo yet again? Am I just an ego-maniac looking for a fix that I will never find?!

I could almost feel her smiling on the other end. Then, in a sage moment, she responded and struck a chord of truth that I desperately needed strumming. ... Candice, you are a creator and a seeker. You will never be satisfied doing anything once it becomes auto-pilot. You are just not wired that way. You will always transform and change beyond it because it is in your nature to do so.

Uh, yeah.
It is undeniable and true.

Thanks, Sylvia.

And so, I yield.
I let go, again.

This must be what it feels like to be the dust speck on Horton Hears A Who... floating about in the air, hopeful that some force much larger and unseen will carry it to safety. In a way, I guess it is the SHiNE message at work through me... as we all feel that way from time-to-time, especially when we answer the call from within. In the words of Horton, may we remember: "let that be a lesson to one and to all; a person is a person, no matter how small."

And might I add..
Whomever, however, wherever you might be.
The heart of your SHiNE has the right to be free.

Be you. Embrace who you are to keep the light on.

September 2008

Many are the names of God and infinite the forms
through which He may be approached.
- Ramakrishna, 18th century Indian Sage

When we hear the word yoga most of us think of conscious movement, repetitions of downward facing dogs, sweaty palms, and deep breathing. I find it inspiring that so many in our culture are inhabiting their bodies more, and channeling the built-up stresses of a restless spirit into conscious mind-body practice. Even as a practitioner myself, I have always known that modern-day yoga is a secular by-product of a spiritual tradition that dates back centuries.

In my recent studies as an enthusiastic grad student (see announcement about AIHT!), I have been skimming the surface of my coursework. I was immediate drawn into some writings on Hinduism and the origins of yoga. Simplified, "yoga is a method of training designed to lead to integration or union." And while we are accustomed to a practice designed to unify body and mind through movement (making it more marketable and accessible to a secular world hungry for fitness and stress-relief), the origins of yoga reveal greater depth and meaning.

To simplify, four paths are available to actualize the human potential through yoga. Raja Yoga (the way through psychophysical exercise) is what many modern-day practices have been derived from. Other paths include: Karma Yoga (the way through work and action), Bhakti Yoga (the way through love and devotion), and Jnana Yoga (the way through knowledge and wisdom). The Hindu faith believes that all paths - yes, even those of other religions - lead to the same ultimate destination: integration with the Infinite (spirit by any name is one and the same). The four paths of yoga acknowledge that different human temperaments approach their relationship to the Divine uniquely. Peering more closely into yoga as a multidimensional practice has opened my eyes to what it means to be a yoga practitioner and a human.

Too often we reject the most wonderful aspects of a spiritual tradition we know little about because we have an all-or-none mentality. But what if we replaced that with an all-is-one mentality and embraced the brilliance ignited within as the truest teaching, while learning from a variety of sources?

If you feel so inspired, join me this month and expand your practice as a yogi or yogini to "embrace the many paths." Simplify the essence of each and then choose the medicine that speaks to your need in the moment. Maintain awareness of your mental and physical energy and keep movement alive through life as a meditation (raja yoga). Allow more of your actions to become thoughtful and a selfless expression of the Life moving through you (karma yoga). Express love and devotion towards the form and formlessness that Spirit takes in your life (bhakti yoga). And intuit and discern between that which is real and lasting truth and that which is the illusory and fleeting dance of the ego (jnana yoga).

Remember, what moves you at your deepest core is what matters to your life most in the moment. Claim your personal practice of growth and transformation. Stay alive and open in the now. And embrace all paths that bring you home to the Universal Divine. Take what speaks to you, and let the rest go by.

Honoring All As One,
Candice

SHiNE TeleCoaching
Convenient! Affordable!

SHiNE Coaching via telephone makes taking time out for you a piece of cake!

Sometimes all that stands in the way of reaching out for the support we need is convenience and affordability. This fall, Candice is committed to making SHiNE Coaching more accessible. Check out these amazing deals. Rates have never been this low!
________________________________

SHiNE TeleCoaching Deals
LIMITED TIME Rates for Fall 2008

The Quick Fix
Single 45-min Consultation ~ $55

The 30-day Motivator
(4) 45-min Consultations ~ $199
(1 session per week; expires in 30-days)

Individual sessions only.
Available to existing and first-time clients!
* Forward to a Friend in Need *
________________________________

Book TeleCoaching Now!

HoopGirl Teacher Training
Nuneaton, England

What an amazing way to start out the month! I have been traveling in the UK, co-teaching HoopGirl teacher trainings with my soul sister and radiant colleague, Christabel Zamor. The training is filled with so many inspirational women (and one man!) with roots stretching far and wide - England, Scotland, Wales, Poland, Italy, and Columbia to name a few! Altogether creating a myriad of accents, talents, and creative impulses.

It is always an honor to see trainees stepping into their power as teachers. And working with Christabel - a powerhouse of inspiration and possibility - is a total joy! Can I just say I adore our connection?! What a divine partnership it is. Our joint facilitation is so effortless and contains an undeniable synergy. Wow. Lucky for me, we are training through August 5. See you when I return!

The highlight of my teaching experience thus far is getting to know Kim, a 20-year old individualist with pink/purple hair and a variety of strategically-placed body piercings. She exudes a sensitivity and femininity beneath a tough exterior. She possesses a potent power clouded by the uncertainty to be expected at her age. I observed with fascination when, on Day 3 (the day of the teaching practicums), she was held hostage by self-effacing inner dialogue. She was filled with fear and dread at the thought of teaching in front of 20 other hoopers. Though the space was safe and supportive, she withdrew feeling powerless. Going to her, I did my best to penetrate this voice with my own. Listening through tears, she would nod, smile, and even laugh at my musings... only minutes later to sink back into the space of doubt.

Eventually, with some coaching and coaxing by myself and others, she chose to face her fear. I was so proud and in awe as she placed the headset on and began to lead the class with a command and presence I knew would come so naturally to her. Then it happened... one split second, a loss of words, and the truth of her effortless brilliance was again hijacked by fear. She seemed almost defenseless against it, and as her shoulders sunk her confidence was lost to her again. What happened next is like slow motion in my memory.

Christabel and I stood back to allow space for her to regain her center. Empathically I knew that doing nothing was the best way to be of service in this moment. And I watched with understanding and alarm as, one-by-one, the women around me (Kim's fellow trainees) began to rescue her. Motherly instincts kicked in, and each offered their own brand of love and kindness - some subtly teaching the class for her, and others ushering her along with physical closeness. As I witnessed, I noticed the result to Kim's energy... and something in me took over the space immediately. I stepped forward, not sure what I was about to do... just knowing it had to be done, and fast. Kim's soul was counting on us to do her a greater and higher service in the moment.

I simply knew - without a doubt - the truth of her brilliant potential. I firmly requested that everyone step away from Kim. With conviction I asserted over the buzz of the group, "I am stepping in here. I am 100% confident that Kim can do this. And I would like to give her the opportunity. I am requested that everyone stop doing this for her, and give her the space to have the experience she is here to have."

Everyone set their best intentions aside and backed away... they knew that I was on to something.

Within a minute or two, Kim was back in her power again. She is truly a lovely facilitator, very articulate and strong, with her own unique brand of humor. Throughout the course of her practicum, she lost her center again a couple of times... but because we did not feed those voices of self-pity with their co-dependent counterpart (the rescuer), she was able to rise from the ashes again and again. I am so proud of Kim. She is an emblem of courage to me. And to be pushing through fears like this as such a young adult... wow. I appreciate what she taught us all yesterday.

It was a miraculous moment to witness her in her brilliant glory!

We all have a choice when it comes to the negative self-talk (jackals) that can sometimes vie for our precious energy. It is in believing the story that our jackals tell us that we become helpless in connecting to the available brilliance within. (And yes, it's always available). Certainly, there is a time to nurture others (and ourselves) with empathy and understanding. However, it is easy to cross the line into unhealthy enabling of untruth when we support anything other than brilliance with the need to rescue. It's a fine line to walk... and safe containers (personal growth seminars, counseling sessions, loving relationships) are where we can practice a sort of tough love to bring one another back into the light again.

My thanks to HoopGirl, Christabel, Kim, and all the other inspiring trainees for this remarkable opportunity.

June 2008

It's choice...
that determines your destiny.
Jean Nidetch

As a coach, I come across people everyday who are in a season of transition. Often I sit with a client as she weighs her options in regards to the various aspects of life. Be it venturing out on a new career path, taking a relationship to the next level, or rising from a season of depression, people come looking for a container of grace in which all facets of a situation can be seen more clearly.

Through experience, I have learned the power of language as a tool for transformation. The simple act of attending to our inner dialogue has the power to change the course of our thinking...and of our lives. When teaching exercises in conscious communication (stay tuned, workbook coming soon!), I suggest we flag certain words in order to shift the flow of energy in our minds and hearts. This creates a reset function in regards to our thinking and can be the key ingredient to shift a mental construct for good.

Make Choices vs. Decisions

When I hear a client say..."I need to decide, and I'm just not sure what to do." It is then I know that choice is the medicine of the moment. To decide in a moment of ambivalence forces a false sense of finality to the present moment. I invite us to honor the now of our reality, rather than focusing on the how (which is a function of the future, taking us out of the moment). Sometimes when we feel pressure to make decisions (knowing how), rather than choices (knowing now), we inadvertantly disempower ourselves. We make assumptions about the future and add unnecessary weight to our choices - assuming we know where each will lead us over time. We bind ourselves to a way of being that may serve us in the moment, yet not necessarily long-term. And, most of all, we rob ourselves of the freedom to experience the miracle that is a change of heart.

Choices are authentic, in-the-moment, and ever-changing - as are we! To choose is to evoke the essence of self acceptance and allows room for growth. Choice is a priviledge meant to evolve us towards more responsible expressions of who we are in the world. The highest choices are those that create more peace, love, and harmony in the world around us. We can decide to change the world, but can only happen one choice at a time.

So this month, practice presence. And if and when you feel the weight of decision upon you, choose what feels right in the moment instead. Respond to the now and release the how.

Thanks to inspirational singer and songwriter, India Arie, we have the perfect anthem for this month's focus:

I Choose, by India Arie
listen to it now

May those who love us, love us;
and those who don't love us,
may God turn their hearts;
and if He doesn't turn their hearts,
may he turn their ankles
so we'll know them by their limping.
- Irish Blessing

I must admit that I have spent considerable life force - as so many of us have - reaching eagerly for the love of those around me. Nevertheless, I can't say that I relate to this blessing as it applies to others. I find that the love that matters most is not that which we receive. It is the love that we give that later comes back to us. And that love we give is what is reflected in the number of hearts that turn our way.

And, paradoxically, many times it is the love and tenderness we give unto ourselves that is most medicinal over time.

Only a few days ago I stumbled upon a strange turn of events (puns intended). The week began with a trip on the stairs and turned left ankle that left me with a small limp. Luckily, I yielded to the fall; thus, the injury was minor and discomfort passed rather quickly. Oddly, it was less than 16 hours later that I fell again - this time not so gracefully. My right ankle was rocked to the core - a severe sprain that left my skin purple and swollen. For three days I have been resting, icing, compressing, and elevating. Only yesterday was I able to put pressure on my right foot...today a limp is the evidence that lingers.

When I read the Irish Blessing above, I couldn't help but smile. The blessing has been in turning my attention to my own heart... and the limp is helping me to see better how often I turn away from that which nurtures me and the direction I wish to move in.

In my life experience - and in my professional life - I have seen again and again how the body acts as a metaphor. After discovering this through my own personal experience, I stumbled upon teachers such as Louise Hay (and her epic book Heal Your Body, Heal Your Life). The joints of the body are all about mobility... and the ability to move forward. They are about flow and right direction, if you will. And so this week I take stock of my choices and how they align with the direction of my dreams. And I am grateful for the message my body sends me.

BTW, here is my edited version of the old Irish Blessing

May I be at one with the Flow of Divine Love
and when I am not,
may the Beloved turn my heart towards It once again;
and if It doesn't succeed in turning my heart,
may It sweep my feet in Its direction
and I'll remember Love by my limping.

- Irish Blessing [edited]

How To Be A Woman
May 13, 2008 by Candice Schutter
(response to How to Be A Man by Steve Pavlina)

The Yin Warrior is an ancient archetype, and a woman of a new and enlightened world. She is the wayshower for the many who yearn for the Feminine to re-emerge as compassionate, empathic leadership.

The Order of Life for the Yin Warrior is:
Instinct: elemental connection with her environment (her physical body being the most important environment to fully embody)
Intuition: the way that life speaks to and through her through Instinct (felt sensation) as a foundation
Interdependence: how her instincts and intuitions enable her to effectively interact with others in relationships

For too long the Yin Warrior has been asleep in our culture. The Order of Life for women has been operating backwards. Relationships are often put before all else - overriding both the impulses of Instinct and Intuition. Intuition has been overshadowed by measurable truths or mistaken for mystical fantasy. And Instinct - spoken through the physical body world - has become a vehicle in which to meet desired ends, rather than a sacred space to embody as the foundation of life.

Let's re-visit The Order of Life for the Yin Warrior through some of her many tools:

INSTINCT
A woman has a visceral knowing - being one with the earth. She understands the elemental dust from which she - and all things - arise from and return to. She embraces the body in its curvaceous celebration of the cyclical nature of form. The body is her temple and instinct is the voice of the Earth itself echoing through its walls. As the space through which life enters, she is masterful at understanding energetic landscapes and the weather patterns of the life unfolding all around her. Her body speaks volumes through sensation.

Sensation
She becomes silent enough to attend to the winds within her body and its resulting rhythms. Harmony is found in nature and her connection to it. All of life around her is Nature speaking to her. She asks: Are you listening? How is the flow of the Body World supporting your desires in the moment? Is there resistance? In which direction can your steer the vessel of your life so that flow is found again? She makes choices that yield to a rhythm her body can move through with ease. She cultivates strength by befriending grace and sensation as allies. She is a master of patience in the birth of all things.

Perhaps most importantly in this time of women-against-women... she puts down her sword of judgement once and for all. The Yin Warrior wields no weapon. She shines with an Open Heart - as it is the only "protection" she needs. When anyone (including another woman!) speaks, the Yin Warrior listens with her entire body. She overrides the cultural tendency to self-compare (attire, physique, age, etc); competition is meaningless to her. Instead she hears what is being said beneath the surface of things, using her body as a fine-tuned instrument of presence and discernment so that she may re-create harmony.

Harmony
She makes her personal well-being a first priority and a felt sensation. She asks: When something "goes wrong" in your environment, where do you go to address the disharmony? Do you frantically resist your environment outside, hoping to change your internal landscapes? What does it take to restore a sense of balance in your body and heart? The Yin Warrior cultivates self-love by taking overt actions that affirm how her life matters to her.

The Yin Warrior listens to her own rhythms and instincts first and foremost. She feels no need to criticize, gossip, or complain... for she understands all impulses rippling in and around her are mirrors through which to see herself more clearly. She looks closely in such moments, and discerns how she might care for herself and the world around her more efficiently. Through self-nurturing, she re-aligns herself with the voice of her instincts (and the environment responds with harmony in accordance with her self-love). Her god-given enchantment is nurtured on a soulular level, so any measures to adorn her physical form are meant to enhance her natural radiance.

INTUITION
A woman knows without knowing how. An inner-aligment with instinct is the foundation for intuition. Tuning in - sensing the world within and without - is the grid upon which the heart rests in its knowing.

Radiant Knowledge
The knowing of the heart is radial. It encompasses all - even the unseen - in its assessment of the moment. This is why instinct coupled with sensation is the foundation of such knowledge. Without this radial awareness, instinct becomes egocentric and blind to the whole. Fearful instincts are not considered in context, and are thus mistaken for intuitive knowing. Therefore, the Yin Warrior is firmly anchored in the body world so that she may be a conduit for knowledge of another kind.

When intuition comes, it need not be accompanied by fireworks. It creeps up in the heart of a woman, and she knows not its true source. A sudden awareness emerges - through thought, word, image, or sensation. The Yin Warrior holds this knowing up against her internal compass which measures its implications on the environment around her. Only when a confirmation responds from within does she give movement to her knowledge.

Emphatic Truth
Empathy is that which makes necessary the path of the woman as a warrior archetype in our existing culture. Empathy is the tool the Yin Warrior lives her life learning to understand. A woman who embraces her inherent gifts and is in touch with the world around her may sometimes feel bombarded with information and stimulation. Sensation is heightened and can overwhelm the body. Intuition is activated and can overwhelm the heart and mind. The Yin Warrior applies her empathic abilities to balance these tendencies, as she receives from so many sources at once. Once balanced, empathy says, I sense the energy that is present while knowing that I am she who is sensing. I do not confuse myself with the energetic environment in which I live... nor that which I interact with. I do not confuse your experience with the truth of who you are. I see behind the veils of this world; and therefore, I never lose my faith in love.

In this way, truth is welcome in a new way. The Yin Warrior speaks great truth with an ease, an acceptance, a grace. She shares what is alive inside of her without becoming lost in the experience. She comes from a place of harmony... so no matter the potency of the honesty she transmits, she is understood in her intention to create connection. She is direct and clear in her communication, but never confrontational. Connection is her starting point, and her endpoint. She is truly a conduit of love through word and action.

INTERDEPENDENCE
When instinct (physical radiance) and intuition (heart radiance) are attended to, a woman is at one with her world. It is then that relationship reveals itself Whole through her.

Partner with the Beloved He
The Yin Warrior knows that the union of Her Most Sacred Heart with the Beloved He comes first. She places her body, heart, and soul in union with the force of life... and it dances her with a graceful ease. Her life is meant to service and nurture Relationship the the All of Life, first and foremost. This is the Divine Marriage through which she will find her greatest joys and sorrows (both of which she honors and treasures for their unique gifts).

The Infinite Spaceholder
The Yin Warrior holds space through which life can happen. She is the fertile soil of the land. No matter how the fields of her heart are tended, she returns to wholeness again and again. Resilience as a concept can not do her justice. Nor the concept of the Survivor, for it implies victimhood. She is no victim, regardless of circumstance. She is the ultimate power of acceptance. Divine acceptance that sees through veils of personalities, challenges, and consequence. Her choices are sacred acts of love - each a birth of life worth celebrating to fruition. And, knowing nature, she knows this... ALL will bear fruit, in due time.

The Nurturer, she pulls all of life to her bosom in order to shed light of love.
Treat all as innocent children, she whispers.
Accept this world. Love it whole in order to change it.

I just had to post this... from the website: www.stevepavlina.com
Beautifully done, and so insightful. I reminds me a lot of the work of David Deida.

He actually had an open invitation to post a "How To Be A Woman" commentary. I took him up on it. See the post prior to this one for my take on it.


How to Be a Man
May 9th, 2008 by Steve Pavlina

What does it mean to be a man today? How can men consciously express their masculinity without becoming cold or closed-hearted on the one hand… or wimpy and emasculated on the other? What’s the most loving way for a conscious man to express himself?

Here are 10 ways to live more consciously as a man:

1. Make real decisions.
A man understands and respects the power of choice. He lives a life of his own creation. He knows that life stagnates when he fails to decide and flourishes when he chooses a clear path.
When a man makes a decision, he opens the door he wants and closes the doors he doesn’t want. He locks onto his target like a guided missile. There’s no guarantee he’ll reach his target, and he knows this, but he doesn’t need such guarantees. He simply enjoys the sense of inevitability that comes from pushing the launch button.
A man doesn’t require the approval of others. He’s willing to follow his heart wherever it leads him. When a man is following his heart-centered path, it’s of little consequence if the entire world is against him.

2. Put your relationships second.
A man who claims his #1 commitment in life is his relationship partner (or his family) is either too dishonest or too weak to be trusted. His loyalties are misplaced. A man who values individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker.
A man knows he must commit to something greater than satisfying the needs of a few people. He’s not willing to be domesticated, but he is willing to accept the responsibility that comes with greater challenges. He knows that when he shirks that duty, he becomes something less than a man. When others observe that the man is unyieldingly committed to his values and ideals, he gains their trust and respect, even when he cannot gain their direct support. The surest way for a man to lose the respect of others (as well as his self-respect) is to violate his own values.
Life will test the man to see if he’s willing to put loyalty to others ahead of loyalty to his principles. The man will be offered many temptations to expose his true loyalties. A man’s greatest reward is to live with integrity, and his greatest punishment is what he inflicts upon himself for placing anything above his integrity. Whenever the man sacrifices his integrity, he loses his freedom… and himself as well. He becomes an object of pity.

3. Be willing to fail.
A man is willing to make mistakes. He’s willing to be wrong. He’d rather try and fail than do nothing.
A man’s self-trust is one of his greatest assets. When he second-guesses himself by worrying about failure, he diminishes himself. An intelligent man considers the prospect of failure, but he doesn’t preoccupy himself with pointless worry. He accepts that if a failure outcome occurs, he can deal with it.
A man grows more from failure than he does from success. Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure can. Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about himself when he takes on challenges that involve risk. When a man plays it safe, his vitality is lost, and he loses his edge.

4. Be confident.
A man speaks and acts with confidence. He owns his attitude.
A man doesn’t adopt a confident posture because he knows he’ll succeed. He often knows that failure is a likely outcome. But when the odds of success are clearly against him, he still exudes confidence. It isn’t because he’s ignorant or suffering from denial. It’s because he’s proving to himself that he has the strength to transcend his self-doubt. This builds his courage and persistence, two of his most valuable allies.
A man is willing to be defeated by the world. He’s willing to be taken down by circumstances beyond his control. But he refuses to be overwhelmed by his own self-doubt. He knows that when he stops trusting himself, he is surely lost. He’ll surrender to fate when necessary, but he won’t surrender to fear.

5. Express love actively.
A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the first to say “I love you.” Waiting for someone else to make the first move is unbecoming of him. The universe does not respond positively to his hesitation. Only when he’s in motion do the floodgates of abundance open.
Man is the out-breath of source energy. It is his job — his duty — to share his love with the world. He must wean himself from suckling the energy of others and become a vibrant transmitter of energy himself. He must allow that energy to flow from source, through him, and into the world. When he assumes this role, he has no doubt he is living as his true self.

6. Re-channel sex energy.
A man doesn’t hide his sexuality. If others shrink from him because he’s too masculine, he allows them to have their reaction. There’s no need for him to lower his energy just to avoid frightening the timid. A man accepts the consequences of being male; he makes no apologies for his nature.
A man is careful not to allow his energy to get stuck at the level of lust. He re-channels much of his sexual energy into his heart and head, where it can serve his higher values instead of just his animal instincts. (You can do this by visualizing the energy rising, expanding, and eventually flowing throughout your entire body and beyond.)
A man channels his sexual energy into his heart-centered pursuits. He feels such energy pulsing within him, driving him to action. He feels uncomfortable standing still. He allows his sexual energy to explode through his heart, not just his genitals.

7. Face your fears.
For a man, being afraid of something is reason enough to do it. A man’s fear is a call to be tested. When a man hides from his fears, he knows he’s fallen out of alignment with his true self. He feels weak, depressed, and helpless. No matter how hard he tries to comfort himself and achieve a state of peace, he cannot overcome his inner feeling of dread. Only when facing his fears does a man experience peace.
A man makes a friend of risk. He doesn’t run and hide from the tests of fear. He turns toward them and engages them boldly.
A man succeeds or fails. A coward never makes the attempt. Specific outcomes are of less concern to a man than his direction.
A man feels like a man whenever he faces the right way, staring straight into his fears. He feels even more like a man when he advances in the direction of his fears, as if sailing on the winds of an inner scream.

8. Honor the masculinity of other men.
When a man sees a male friend undertaking a new venture that will clearly lead to failure, what does the man do? Does he warn his friend off such a path? No, the man encourages his friend to continue. The man knows it’s better for his friend to strike out confidently and learn from the failure experience. The man honors his friend’s decision to reach out and make the attempt. The man won’t deny his friend the benefits of a failure experience. The man may offer his friend guidance, but he knows his friend must fail repeatedly in order to develop self-trust and courage.
When you see a man at the gym struggling to lift a heavy weight, do you jump in and say, “Here… let me help you with that. Maybe the two of us can lift it together”? No, that would rob him of the growth experience — and probably make a quick enemy of him as well.
The male path is filled with obstacles. It typically includes more failures than successes. These obstacles help a man discover what’s truly important to him. Through repeated failures a man learns to persist in the pursuit of worthy goals and to abandon goals that are unworthy of him.
A man can handle being knocked down many times. For every physical setback he experiences, he enjoys a spiritual advancement, and that is enough for him.

9. Accept responsibility for your relationships.
A man chooses his friends, lovers, and associates consciously. He actively seeks out the company of people who inspire and challenge him, and he willingly sheds those who hold him back.
A man doesn’t blame others for his relationship problems. When a relationship is no longer compatible with his heart-centered path, he initiates the break-up and departs without blame or guilt.
A man holds himself accountable for the relationships he allows into his life. He holds others accountable for their behavior, but he holds himself accountable for his decision to tolerate such behavior.
A man teaches others how to treat him by the relationships he’s willing to allow into his life. A man refuses to fill his life with negative or destructive relationships; he knows that’s a form of self-abuse.

10. Die well.
A man’s great challenge is to develop the inner strength to express his true self. He must learn to share his love with the world without holding back. When a man is satisfied that he’s done that, he can make peace with death. But if he fails to do so, death becomes his enemy and haunts him all the days of his life.
A man cannot die well unless he lives well. A man lives well when he accepts his mortality and draws strength from knowing that his physical existence is temporary. When a man faces and accepts the inevitability of death… when he learns to see death as his ally instead of his enemy… he’s finally able to express his true self. So a man isn’t ready to live until he accepts that he’s already dead.

Source: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/05/how-to-be-a-man/

May 2008


I
Have
Learned
So much from God
That I can no longer
Call
Myself
 
A Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim,
A Buddhist, a Jew.
 
The Truth has shared so much of Itself
With me
 
That I can no longer call myself
A man, a woman, an angel,
Or even pure
Soul.
 
Love has
Befriended Hafiz so completely
It has turned to ash
And freed
Me
 
Of every concept and image
My mind has ever known.
 
Hafiz, Sufi Poet

I am drawn to the writings of Sufi Masters such as Hafiz. Many of these great teachers share connection with a heartfelt spirit-led way of living that defies the conceptual mind. Sufism is a mystical tradition of ancient Islam. We can dip into its essence when working towards a global unity - touching the depth of spiritual inquiry where all the lines of this world of form blur, merging into a one religion without dogma. All paths are honored when we pierce the veil of concepts and begin to know God.
 
Nevertheless, living in the world of form means embracing life and its constructs. To continue in our evolution, we wrap words around feelings and apply labels to the paths we tread. These too can be sacred acts, when we approach them with the understanding that our feelings and pathways can be treated as reflections of how connected we are to the All of Life.
 
On the SHiNE blog I recently shared my personal evolution through labels as divine signposts - shifting my focus onto a path that more accurately reflects my passion for service. (You can read more here). In essence, for too long I was asleep at the wheel. The illusion of so-called survival mode was leading me to make unconscious choices based on what I could get. I was left empty - in more ways that one. Then, again and again, I asked for guidance - I wanted to wake up. Love befriended me, and the path of ministry and service became clearer each time I sought Its counsel. I have always known my deepest desire is to walk in the world as a minister/conduit of love itself. And my greatest gift to the world is seeing - and fostering - the inherent wholeness in everyone that I mean.
 
A client recently asked me how my current business might change as a result of shift to "ministry." Would I still be available to help her with the nuts and bolts of her business plan? I was so pleased that she asked. For my hope is that SHiNE as a collection of services can redefine ministry - expanding its definition to include anything that enlivens you to more inspired and purposeful living. So my answer was "absolutely, yes!" SHiNE Ministry includes service in the form that suits your heart's calling in the moment - be it business, livelihood, parenthood, relationship, spirit-based counseling, or movement as medicine. The primary focus at the core of all SHiNE offerings: supporting you so that you might give the best of yourself in each moment.
 
And let's re-define giving while we're at it, yes?! Harmonious giving is not self-sacrificing at its deepest level. On the contrary, it relies on an awareness that honoring the self (see last month's feature article) is the foundation for authentic generosity and abundant living through giving. When we truly know ourselves, the fear of giving dissolves. The illusions of lack, separation, loss of self, competition, and victimization fall away. Freedom is truly found in giving of ourselves - from a place of wholeness.
 
This month, I invite you to give of yourself in some unique way. Step out of bounds and experience how your brilliance shared is to honor love in all its forms - in, as, and through you.

 
We make a living by what we get.
We make a life by what we give.
 Winston Churchill

Blessings,
Candice

Had to share this fun and insightful questionnaire offered in a recent newsletter that I receive weekly. Great stuff for some juicy self-inquiry and fun. Pick a couple of questions that intrigue you or answer them all. Enjoy!


1. What did you dream last night?
2. What image or symbol represents the absolute of your desires?
3. In what ways has your fate been affected by invisible forces you don't understand or are barely aware of?
4. Tell a good lie.
5. What were the circumstances in which you were most dangerously alive?
6. Are you a good listener? If so, describe how you listen. If not, explain why not.
7. Compose an exciting prayer in which you ask for something you're not supposed to.
8. What's the difference between right and wrong?
9. Name something you've done to undo, subvert, or neutralize the Battle of the Sexes.
10. Have you ever witnessed a child being born? If so, describe how it changed you.
11. Compose a beautiful blasphemy that makes you feel like crying.
12. What do you do to make people like you?
13. If you're not familiar with the Jungian concept of the "shadow," find out about it. If you are, good. In either case, give a description of the nature of your personal shadow.
14. Talk about three of your most interesting personalities. Give each one a name and a power animal.
15. Make up a dream in which you lose control and thereby attract a crowd of worshipers.
16. Name your greatest unnecessary taboo and how you would violate it if it didn't hurt anyone.
17. Give an example of how smart you are in the way you love.
18. What ignorance do you deserve to be forgiven for?
19. What was the pain that healed you the most?
20. Make a prediction about yourself.

Reprinted from Rob Brezsny's FreeWill Astrology Newsletter, March 2008.

April 2008


Well-ordered self-love is right and natural.
St. Thomas Aquinas

In recent weeks, I have become more aware than ever that I have much to learn about self-care. It's a common paradox for those of us in paths of service. Continually we encourage others to honor personal rhythms of healing, while ignoring the lights flashing in our own hearts. It's true indeed that we teach what we need to learn. I have come to notice that, quite often, in coaching sessions I am the messenger administering the medicine to us both via intuition and unexpected verbal elixirs.

It has been said before, love is an action. It is a series of choices. And so, when it comes to shining love inward, we must compassionately observe the choices that we make repeatedly throughout the day. How often are we present to what is alive in the moment? Do we sometimes override impulses to self-nurture in order to feed perceived urgencies in our environment? It takes only awareness to rewind, and re-choose.

True Self-love is hardly a singular or selfish pursuit. In actuality, it is blatantly spiritual - an act of reverence for the energy from which you came. Honor your body as a sacred temple, your mind as fertile ground for divine awareness, and your heart as a blessed antennae steadfast in rhythmic dance with all of life.

We only appreciate our good or evil
in proportion to our self-love.
François de la Rochefoucauld

It is a worthwhile practice to meditate on the quote above. It is our relationship to self-love that guides our perceptions in life. Take any event in your life and hold it inward in your awareness. If the light of self-love is dimly lit, you may see yourself as a victim of circumstances. Lack of light may taint your view of What-Simply-Is to incorporate a poor self-image, feeding inner drama and suffering. Depressing stories are built - not upon circumstances - but upon forgetfulness of the Brilliance within.

If, however, you have access to the abundance of light inside...if you see yourself as an essential aspect of the light of goodness, suddenly the world around you looks much different. You will see that each and every response to circumstance is built upon the choice that you make in the moment. Heightened self-love results in acceptance and self-empowerment, and both are unattached to storytelling as a means to justify feeling good. Loving the light within is timeless and unconditional with practice, regardless of what happened "once upon a time."

Investing in mini-acts of self-love is the greatest gift that you can give to those around you. Over time you see that your inner light needs to be fed with awareness in order for you to give the best of you to others. So take that walk in the park in the middle of the day, feed yourself healthy perpectives, and surely it can't hurt to give yourself a hug from time-to-time. In re-igniting your bliss, you become evermore committed to passing it along:

"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." - Buddha

Reaching my Light to yours,
Candice

April 2008 - Resource of the Month
Hay House Radio

I felt like I had stumbled upon a goldmine when a friend recently suggested I check out Hay House Radio online. So many of my favorite authors, coaches, and distant-mentors all featured in one place. Become a member and you can download amazing talks for FREE! Sign up (again, it's free) and then visit the "Archives" to add talks to your iPod.

Check it out!

SHiNE Couples Coaching with Candice Schutter
Practice Presence in a Loving Container for Conscious Communication

An intimate relationship is meant to be an environment where the best of you is witnessed, reflected, and fostered. Yet, over time we too often become entrenched in the stagnancy of a comfort zone, and we lose sight of the ever-changing needs that are alive and real in the moment. Basing our awareness on the past, we make countless assumptions - thinking that our knowledge of our mate is complete and without flaw. In doing so, we miss out on the potential for heartfelt connection in the present.

SHiNE Couples Coaching is a container in which you and your partner can be fully present for one another. Candice will offer many tools and assist you to:
- Identify Energy Leaks present in your communications
- Balance heart-centered talks with Empty Listening
- Create tangible strategies to foster connection daily
- Differentiate your journeys to become singular souls on a shared journey of learning and transformation

FREE 60-min coaching session for 1st time clients.
Contact Us to book your session.

A New Earth  SHiNE Circle
Week 2

It seems that these late night hours are a waking window,