Flow~NW Hoop Gathering
There is no right or wrong. There is only flow or not
flow.
Anah (aka: Hoopalicious)
I recently returned from a long weekend in Bend, Oregon
where I attended the first annual
NW Hoop
Gathering.
It was a transformational weekend, filled with
workshops led by hoop pioneers from all over the
country. Presentations ranged from free-form
explorations to technical skill-building, as each of
the facilitators shared their unique approach to
hooping with over 100 attendees. (See a
full page article
in the Bend Bulletin).
When I first picked up a hoop in 2006, I never imagined
where it would take me. The most powerful aspect of my
path in the hoop has been the way it has taught me to
surrender to the unknown. By allowing myself to be
carried on the current of the hoop, my life has orbited
to new heights. To me, the hoop is
contemplative playtime.
It is a vehicle that allows two parts of me to unite in
a harmonic convergence. My free spirit is nurtured by
the joy of dance and exploration through movement and
radiance. And the spiritual seeker and metaphysician in
me is taught volumes about how the flow of energy moves
in and around my body and mind. The hoop is a metaphor
for the ways in which life speaks to (and through) me.
Joyful. Powerful. Active. Yielding.
The
SHiNE Workshop - What Moves You Matters
Saturday, April 11, 2009
My workshop presentation was at the end of the day on
Saturday. After many hours of hooping, attendees were
in need of a breather. In the spirit of flow, I
surrendered my workshop plan to the tides of the
moment. The majority of our time was spent in seated
discussion. I introduced attendees to my ever-evolving
experience of flow as a harmonic balance between Who We
Are and Who We Have Become. Upon opening the floor for
questions, we discussed the perceived barriers to
living with authenticity. Topics of discussion
included: the opinion of others, family dynamics, how
‘should’ can disempower our choices, and getting to the
core of what it is we really want. In short, we applied
the energy dynamics that the hoop is helping us to
master to our everyday lives. How can we flow more
deliberately towards our most joyous experience of
life?
After a lively discussion, I was eager to move and
vessel the understanding through movement. We had very
little time, so I picked two exercises to end with.
First, we moved into a circle formation and surrendered
our hoops - “you are not what you do.” We co-created
our own harmonic flow of energy - two concentric
circles weaving in and out of one another - as
attendees connected with their community face-to-face,
hand-to-hand in a perpetually moving circle dance. From
there, I felt the space was hungry for release. A Nia
experience followed through a powerful dance of rhythm
and sounding. The power of over 100 voices wildly
basking in unison is still reverberating in my heart.

I am ever-so grateful to
Mollie Hogan
of
HoopDazzle
- friend, student, and event organizer - who wouldn’t
take no for an answer. When she encouraged me to
present at the event many months ago, I voiced my
concern about teaching hoop technique as my energy is
so much more drawn to coaching these days. She
encouraged me to create a workshop that I would be
eager to teach, and reassured me in my ability to
deliver. I faced my demons of doubt, and I did just
that. Thank you, Mollie, for your unconditional love
and support.
And I was so delighted and appreciative to see so many
friendly Portland faces in the crowd! Your presence
made me feel at home and at ease. Special thanks
to
Lacye Lee
for her assistance and support during my workshop!
A
Shout Out to the Presenters
I
am continually amazed and inspired by the people that I
meet through the hoopdance community. The focus of this
year’s event was The Evolution of Flow. In the world of
flow arts (ie: poi, staff, flags, etc), hoopdance has
arrived and is rock-solid! Presentations focused on
experiential understandings of flow understanding,
specific to the hoop. These few paragraphs could hardly
do justice to all the brilliance shared in the
presentations... nevertheless, a shout out feels
warranted. I express my gratitude to:
Baxter
of
The Hoop Path
for his shamanic teaching style that reminds us all to
“go blind” and dive deep into what moves us at our very
core.
Ann
of The Hoop Path for her poise, grace, and willingness
to look closer. Her teaching presence ignites a
powerful fusion of femininity and strength.
Spiral
of
Spiral Hoop Dance
for her beauty and presence as she led us through a
variety of technical applications inspired by her
inspirational circus-style studies. I appreciate so
much getting to know her... her smile, her curiosity,
and her wonder.
Rich
of
Isopop
for a diagrammatical workshop on isolations and
break-style hooping that was awe-inspiring and
effective.
Christabel
of
HoopGirl
for her continual courageous pushing of limits! Her
workshop on floor hooping and micro-hoop meditations
took each attendee into previous uncharted territories
in and out of the hoop. Go, soul sister, go!
Khan
for his wisdom and insight as he expressed an
understanding of flow that pushed our boundaries into
quantum physics and beyond. I was especially affected
by his presentation, as I saw so clearly how the hoop
is really a vehicle for the energetic teachings that
come through us all.
Philo
of
Hooping.org
for his playful and approachable teaching style that
emphasized legwork and so much more. I am so grateful
to Philo and the way in which he owns who he is and
connects us all to one another, one click at a time.
Anah
(aka Hoopalicious) of
Hoop Revolution
for her expertise and willingness to share it. I felt
so much alignment with her teaching, in philosophy and
technique, and I appreciate the ways she pushed me into
so many areas of exploration in my hoop I had yet
experienced. I am renewed with inspiration!
Thank you to all of the presenters for your wisdom and
sharing. The best part about sharing a platform with
you all was truly feeling complete authenticity in our
sharing with one another and the community at large.
And as a final thought... a very heartfelt thank you to
the radiant women in my life who support me every step
of the way. I am blessed in friendship withe amazing
women who inspire me endlessly! The best part of my
weekend was the sharing of laughter, insight, and
delight with ladies dear to my heart:
Jasmine, Christabel, Holly, Keri, Jennaluna, and
Mollie...
you rock my world!
Cara and Sylvia...
you were both there with me in spirit. Thank you for
your invisible support. I love you all!
HoopGirl Training - Baltimore, MD

HoopGirl Level One
Baltimore, Maryland
I am settling in at home in
Portland, Oregon relaxing after three glorious days in
Baltimore, Maryland! I was there co-facilitating a
HoopGirl Level One Teacher Training. Although I had
taught the course material alongside Christabel on
numerous occasions over the past 3 years (and even
helped co-author many of the concepts), it was a new
dawn for me and for HoopGirl. This was the first
training in which the material would be presented
without Christabel as a facilitator. My intention going
into the weekend: to trust that I would be able
to channel her wisdom - along with my own - and deliver
100% on the promise. And I am so pleased to announce
that we did just that!
I certainly didn't do it alone! My co-trainer
was Jennaluna.
Ripe from her Level 3 training, she was superbly
present as she courageously stepped right into the role
of Trainer! Jenna is a natural facilitator, and it was
such a joy to witness her holding the frequency of a
leader and guide. She was especially potent when she
fully embraced her power and yielded as her teaching
worked through her. I look forward to more
opportunities to teach alongside her... and share in
more late night laughter! I am so grateful to work
alongside colleagues that so soon become friends.
A group of 13 fabulous women arrived on Day One, fully
present and eager to learn about HoopGirl philosophy
and education. I was immediately struck by the presence
of each trainee. As the days unfolded, the attendees
initiated lively discussions that led us into many
expansive explorations of the material. It was so
easy to witness and identify the unique brilliance of
each in attendance:
Noelle is the local hooper who
made the training possible, providing us with the
perfect space and constant support. She is a grounded,
vibrant woman who has an impeccable warmth about her.
Noelle offers observations, questions, and conscious
facilitation that weave richness and depth to the
teaching experience.
Elena and
Tara came from upstate New York,
and I was immediately struck by their shared commitment
and focus. Their community is in for a treat as they
offer a combined synergy that is sure to delight. Elena
wooed us all with her warm and expansive teaching style
that reminded me the power of eye contact and poise.
Tara guided us with an effortless wisdom and a sassy
smile that melted our hearts and brought joy out in our
dance.
Carolann joined us from New Jersey.
She was our diva-goddess guide who demonstrated how
coaching and empowerment can so effortlessly be woven
into teaching hoopdance. I am personally inspired by
her commitment to learn and grow in the direction of
her bliss. Our lunchtime chat was a highlight of my
weekend.
Pam came
to the training with a dream to bring Ohio to life via
the hoop. She blew us all away by her skill level -
after only 6 months hooping, she was teaching all of us
a thing or two! She is a testament of the power of
online study. Not to mention, a natural teacher and
model of how youthfulness is an ageless embodiment.
Chantiel came from Boise, Idaho...
and is also a student of many via her online studies.
She brought a inspiring and penetrating teaching style
that held a powerful space for instruction. I
appreciate her inquisitive and willing presence to
learn and grow.
Katie (aka:
Surprise) joined us from the DC
area. She brought so much creativity to her teaching
via her remarkable attention to detail. I especially
loved her immediate integration of conscious languaging
and ability to reflect back to each of us. Her success
will be no surprise to me.
Tina B (Virginia) brought her
vast teaching experience into the hoop in such a
personal way. She has a sensual and joyous style that
is perfectly suited for the hoop - a mixture of
bellydance and fitness offering a powerful fusion. She
made us all smile and rest into the confidence of her
instruction.
Becca was also from
Virginia, and I can't say enough about the integrity
she possesses. Each time I witnessed her - as trainee
and as teacher - she was in full alignment with who she
is. As a result, her teaching delivered a
yoga-warrior-hoop journey unlike any other.
Leda came to us all the
way from Florida and the performance troupe known as
the Hoola Monsters. She carries the natural poise and
radiance of a performer and it translates perfectly
into her teaching. I celebrate her smile and the power
of her natural abilities as teacher.
Allison blew us away with her
beautiful circus-style contortions during the photo
shoot! And as a teacher, she is a self-possessed bundle
of joy that you can't help but want to connect with and
learn from. She will surely magnetize many joyous
bodies into her classes.
I was always mesmerized when I would
witness Kara hoop
during breaks. A yoga teacher from North Carolina, she
has a fluid and majestic style that may be partially
inspired by the little guy she is expecting from within
- she did the training while 4.5 months pregnant! She
certainly brought the power and radiance of yin alive
through her teaching as she masterfully demonstrated
and "committed" to the task at hand. What an
inspiration for all the mothers out there!
I can't possibly leave out
Candice C. who was from a Maryland
mountain community nearby. She is a warm and delightful
woman who brought a lovely energy into the group. I was
inspired by her choice - one of self-love - to step out
on the second day, choosing to complete the training at
another time. Sometimes the path of least resistance
requires that we yield to an unexpected direction. I
commend her for honoring her inner guidance.
And a very special shout out
to Kelly
Jo... a
previous graduate of the training was the ultimate
assistant to Jenna and I. She went above and beyond the
call of duty, catering to our every need and making a
distant training location feel like home. Thank you so
much for your presence, Kelly Jo! You are a star, for
sure. We missed you on Day 3 and are hoping that you
are feeling much better!
I couldn't possibly fully express the experience of the
past weekend in these few paragraphs. I will simply
share my gratitude to each and every one of the
trainees for bringing their brilliance into the space;
the synergy was inspiring to us all. And thank you,
Jennaluna, for your exquisite partnership and
presence.
A very, very special acknowledgment to Christabel... my
dear friend and creative soulmate. Thank you for
trusting me to deliver the product of your brilliance
to these women. I am the better for it. I hope you know
how you inspire greatness in us all.
Joyous & Grateful!
Candice
Body Alliance
January 2009

Photo from The Full Body
Project
*[Wo]man
is the sole animal whose nudity offends her own
companions, and the only one who, in her natural
actions, withdraws and hides herself from her own
kind.
-
Montaigne
Tis' the season of new year's resolutions. Did you
expect to see a different kind of picture? Take a
minute to really look at the photo above. What comes to
mind as you view these full-figured women in all their
glory?
When I was in college studying for my BA in Psychology
and Human Development, one class that rocked my world
was entitled: Prejudice and Stigma. My dynamic
professor, Chris Crandall, is still at it. He has
been studying prejudice for decades. Specifically,
he is an expert on the topic of weight-related
prejudice. I vividly remember the day when he
revealed to us what I considered staggering
statistical findings. He and his colleagues found
that: The parents of obese children were
significantly less likely to pay to send them to
college. The familial weight-dependent prejudice
displayed towards female children was much higher
than that of boys. And that perhaps the most painful
aspect of the stigma of "fat" in all age groups -
what set this stigma apart from other demographics -
was that even people of the same size and shape were
reportedly prejudiced toward one another. In
essence, antipathy towards fat people is pervasive
and culturally reinforced, even within the family
and social circles.
The picture gallery referenced above intrigues me for
the way in which it challenges me to think. Did you
notice any culturally inherited prejudices in your
perception of these ladies? These are women who dance
in naked defiance of the cultural spell many of us are
under. First, they bask in the glow of self-acceptance
without sucking it in or reliance on airbrushing. That
is inspiration enough. Yet they take it a step further.
They blatantly dare you to face your judgments, your
assumptions, and your willingness to accept beauty in
all its variations. They dare to flaunt their abundant
curves, usually kept hidden. They reach to one another
for the courage it takes to be seen...a collective band
of body-blazing pioneers. They are heros in their own
right.
Over fifteen years after Dr. Crandall's initial
findings, I can honestly say that I don't know one
woman - of any shape or size - who is immune from the
terrifying stigma of "fat" on some level. Again and
again, I am surprised to learn that even the most
slender, dynamic, and powerful women are fighting
against their bodies. It's the same story in variant
forms...25-year old women "feeling fat" while wearing
everything from size two to size twenty, 35-45 year old
women confused that they are no longer shaped like a
teen model, and women 50+ years young who quite
literally ban themselves from the pleasure of a bathing
suit for life due to the pain of body-loathing. It's
our best kept secret - this emotional sickness among
women. We only allude to the symptoms of it, as our
helplessness keeps us from diving too deep.
On my own journey, I have certainly braved the seas of
change from adolecence into womanhood. Even my youth
and interest in movement didn't keep me immune. I look
back on photos of me athletic, thin, and in my
“physical prime.” I feel a mixture of awe and utter
sadness that I feared and "felt fat" even then! Now as
I step into another transformative season of life, I
peel back the layers on more negative beliefs and
self-judgments as my body is changing. When will I
truly feel total body acceptance?
If, like me, you have an intention for greater health
and self-care in 2009, I fully support your mission.
Yet I have discovered time and time again that
intentions driven by the desperation of body-loathing
are not a healthy prescription for change. True
motivation comes from a heartfelt desire for a more
fulfilling life, not a smaller dress size. And fitness
is about so much more than a number on a scale.
In 2008, I took a break from dancing and most forms of
fitness. This time-out was prompted by my body's cries
for a hiatus from over seven years of pretty much
continual dynamic movement. During that time the
prescription for my wellness was stillness. Over the
course of my time off, I gained nearly 20 lbs along
with the weight of some new leisurely habits.
Nevertheless, I was inventing new ways to be healthy
and whole. And, I was invited to love my body anew - an
ever-developing woman existing amidst a more curvaceous
landscape.
I recently started dancing again...as the integration
completed its cycle, my spirit began to stir once
again. I thought it would surely take a few months to
feel the power of fitness and movement as I once had.
What I discovered after only 1 week of movement was
glorious! No, not that I had lost a bunch of weight or
that I had rock-hard abs. I discovered that I
immediately felt alive again...that sweat is an elixir
of bliss when delivering the spirit within...and that
to move is to breathe life forward. All of these are
indicators of true fitness. To express my spirit
through the flesh, at any age and cycle of life, that
is wellness realized.
Lightness can be felt at any size. Beauty can be
activated in a deep cleansing breath or in a simple
movement of the hips. And fitness is an aliveness that
can only be measured from within.

Ladies, I know I am not
alone in my journey to change the way I think about my
body and fitness. Yet, instead of turning to one
another for support, we turn to our mirrors in shame.
We turn to fad diets...we turn to deprivation and
isolation...we turn to creams to hide our
cellulite...and unfortunately, we turn on one another
through subtle energetics that feed our pain and
disconnection.
As with all mentalities we outgrow as a species, this
cultural madness must be brought to light and shed. In
2009, like the women pictured above, let's create an
alliance to accept one another in the ways in which we
would like to be accepted. I propose that we band
together to step out of the darkness and into the light
and brilliance that comes from navigating our fears.
Let's stop turning our back on one another and let's
find fitness, pleasure, and self-acceptance somewhere
other than in our reflections and dress sizes.
If you feel so inspired, I invite you to join me in the
following New Year's Resolution:
• I will do my best to accept and find beauty in my
body, as it is - giving myself at least one physical
complement per day.
• I will send a message of body-based appreciation and
admiration to at least one woman per day (via a
heartfelt complement, through thought or word).
• I will readjust my thinking in order to incorporate a
new definition of fitness - one where feeling radiant
and powerful is more important than feeling thin. I
will seek opportunities to express my radiance through
my body in 2009!
SIGN THE CONTRACT
Body Alliance 2009
Print and Sign a Declaration to activate YOUR
resolution.
FREE
DOWNLOAD
And by the way, Body
Appreciation is just one of the many topics we will
focus on in the upcoming Radiance Coaching Class Series
(new dates tba). If you feel moved to join us,
click here for more information.
Hope to see you there!
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Looking Forward to Celebrating Your Beauty,
Candice
Embracing The Many Paths
September 2008

Many
are the names of God and infinite the forms
through which He may be approached.
- Ramakrishna, 18th century Indian Sage
When we hear the word yoga most of us think of
conscious movement, repetitions of downward facing
dogs, sweaty palms, and deep breathing. I find it
inspiring that so many in our culture are inhabiting
their bodies more, and channeling the built-up stresses
of a restless spirit into conscious mind-body practice.
Even as a practitioner myself, I have always known that
modern-day yoga is a secular by-product of a spiritual
tradition that dates back centuries.
In my recent studies as an enthusiastic grad student
(see announcement about AIHT!), I have been skimming
the surface of my coursework. I was immediate drawn
into some writings on Hinduism and the origins of yoga.
Simplified, "yoga is a method of training designed to
lead to integration or union." And while we are
accustomed to a practice designed to unify body and
mind through movement (making it more marketable and
accessible to a secular world hungry for fitness and
stress-relief), the origins of yoga reveal greater
depth and meaning.
To simplify, four paths are available to actualize the
human potential through yoga. Raja Yoga (the way
through psychophysical exercise) is what many
modern-day practices have been derived from. Other
paths include: Karma Yoga (the way through work and
action), Bhakti Yoga (the way through love and
devotion), and Jnana Yoga (the way through knowledge
and wisdom). The Hindu faith believes that all paths -
yes, even those of other religions - lead to the same
ultimate destination: integration with the Infinite
(spirit by any name is one and the same). The four
paths of yoga acknowledge that different human
temperaments approach their relationship to the Divine
uniquely. Peering more closely into yoga as a
multidimensional practice has opened my eyes to what it
means to be a yoga practitioner and a human.
Too often we reject the most wonderful aspects of a
spiritual tradition we know little about because we
have an all-or-none mentality. But what if we replaced
that with an
all-is-one mentality and embraced the brilliance
ignited within as the truest teaching, while learning
from a variety of sources?
If you feel so inspired, join me this month and expand
your practice as a yogi or yogini to "embrace the many
paths." Simplify the essence of each and then choose
the medicine that speaks to your need in the moment.
Maintain awareness of your mental and physical energy
and keep movement alive through life as a meditation
(raja yoga). Allow more of your actions to become
thoughtful and a selfless expression of the Life moving
through you (karma yoga). Express love and devotion
towards the form and formlessness that Spirit takes in
your life (bhakti yoga). And intuit and discern between
that which is real and lasting truth and that which is
the illusory and fleeting dance of the ego (jnana
yoga).
Remember, what moves you at your deepest core is what
matters to your life most in the moment. Claim your
personal practice of growth and transformation. Stay
alive and open in the now. And embrace all paths that
bring you home to the Universal Divine. Take what
speaks to you, and let the rest go by.
Honoring All As One,
Candice
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Twists and Turns

May those who love
us, love us;
and those who don't love us,
may God turn their hearts;
and if He doesn't turn their hearts,
may he turn their ankles
so we'll know them by their limping.
- Irish Blessing
I must admit that I have
spent considerable life force - as so many of us have -
reaching eagerly for the love of those around me.
Nevertheless, I can't say that I relate to this
blessing as it applies to others. I find that the love
that matters most is not that which we receive. It is
the love that we give that later comes back to us. And
that love we give is what is reflected in the number of
hearts that turn our way.
And, paradoxically, many times it is the love and
tenderness we give unto ourselves that is most
medicinal over time.
Only a few days ago I stumbled upon a strange turn of
events (puns intended). The week began with a trip on
the stairs and turned left ankle that left me with a
small limp. Luckily, I yielded to the fall; thus, the
injury was minor and discomfort passed rather quickly.
Oddly, it was less than 16 hours later that I
fell again
- this time not
so gracefully. My right ankle was rocked to the core -
a severe sprain that left my skin purple and swollen.
For three days I have been resting, icing, compressing,
and elevating. Only yesterday was I able to put
pressure on my right foot...today a limp is the
evidence that lingers.
When I read the Irish Blessing above, I couldn't help
but smile. The blessing has been in turning my
attention to my own
heart... and
the limp is helping me to see better how often I turn
away from that which nurtures me and the direction I
wish to move in.
In my life experience - and in my professional life - I
have seen again and again how the body acts as a
metaphor. After discovering this through my own
personal experience, I stumbled upon teachers such as
Louise Hay (and her epic book Heal Your Body, Heal Your
Life). The joints of the
body are all about mobility... and the ability to
move forward. They are about flow and right
direction, if you will. And so this week I take
stock of my choices and how they align with the
direction of my dreams. And I am grateful for the
message my body sends me.
BTW, here is my edited
version of the old Irish Blessing
May I be at one with the Flow of Divine Love
and when I am not,
may the Beloved turn my heart towards It once again;
and if It doesn't succeed in turning my heart,
may It sweep my feet in Its direction
and I'll remember Love by my limping.
- Irish Blessing
[edited]
The Body Condition

To
be in harmony with the Oneness of things is
to be without anxiety about
imperfection.
Zen
Master Dogen
I have been thinking a lot about body conditioning. You
might think that I am referring to the many actions
that we take to bring the physical body to its optimal
state of performance. No, today I speak of something
closer to my heart. I am in awe of our cultural
conditioning and our conditional
acceptance of
the body as whole, functional, and perfect.
Last night, I stood in front of the mirror and
witnessed my ego lash out venemously at my body. All in
all, the winter months have been very good to me. I
have a beautiful and cozy new home, a loving
relationship of renewed balance, and a feeling of
contentment I have never known. And, I have gained
10-15 pounds.
Our new home has only a very small mirror in the
upstairs bathroom where I shower and primp each day. As
a result, I rarely see my full reflection naked. I have
certainly noticed the shift in my activity level (a
common cycle for me in the cold months, while also a
function of some professional shifts). My clothes fit
differently, for sure. But I was, nevertheless, a bit
shocked when I stood on the bed to catch a glimpse of
my new fullness in the mirror above my dresser. Now I
don't mean to place value judgments. The truth is, I
really do see beauty in many different body shapes and
sizes in women all around me. So why is it that the
ruler against which I measure myself is so different?!
In 2001, I was miserable in my body. I had been
managing a restaurant 60 hours a week for far too long.
I was eating poorly, and had little to no physical
stamina. I was fed up, and hungry in the spirit. I left
my job and moved to Boulder, Colorado. It was there
that I stepped into my first Nia class. I was
completely hooked from the get-go. For over a year, I
did Nia every single day. I couldn't move enough. I
obtained my white belt, began teaching, and soon added
regular qigong and yoga practice to the mix. I was
suddenly addicted to movement and the flow of chi
through my body. I was a physical machine.
Naturally, my body changed dramatically. At the height
of this athletic phase in my development my body was
thin, taunt, and very strong. While this may have been
my initial aim, I was oddly unaffected by it. I just
wanted to move, plain and simple. The new shape my
movement took was just a convenient by-product. I took
it completely for granted. It was easy to rarely think
about it given that the conditions
for my
conditional body-love were more ideal at that time than
they had every been. My body condition was such that,
most of the time, I could conditionally accept it. No
problem.
It wasn't until I moved to Oregon that everything
changed. Over the past 4 years, life conditions have
gradually led to less to less movement. As the Coach in
me has become more activated, the Athlete has grown
disinterested. For months upon months, I forced myself
to teach Nia, even though I feel in my heart I have
outgrown it as a teaching practice. In mid-December of
2007, I finally left my regular teaching practice.
In the summer of 2006, when the hoop entered my life, I
experienced another burst of the physical. I rode the
wave of newness and performance for a time, yet the
hooping world - full of amazing individuals whom I
love! - is, quite simply, a unique culture that I don't
always resonate with as a lifestyle. I have yet to
fully find my place in it outside of the classroom.
Teaching Hoopdance has given me a new vehicle to
explore via the body, yet still, I am called to do it
less and less over time.
I am coming to accept that I am teacher above all else.
My mediums are likely to shift and change throughout my
life, that this I must allow. And so, my body condition
has changed with the seasons of my heart.
Ironically, at this new weight, I am more grounded and
stable than ever. Eating meat and honoring my body's
natural rhythms (no longer pushing it to its edge every
day) has been the greatest act of self-love. It has
occurred to me that perhaps my ego's
ideal body
shape is not that which my body and spirit responds to
best. At least at this moment in time. And my heart -
the mediator between body and mind - is meant to foster
the unity of self-acceptance.
I want to reiterate the recommended reading for July
2007, Radical
Acceptance by Tara Brach. I am
revisiting it now. It is a beautifully-crafted book
that teaches us how to embrace each moment in time
with love and gratitude. Read it again and again.
May your most important body condition be acceptance.
Namaste.
HoopGirl Training - Portland
HoopGirl Teacher Training - Portland, OR
September 21 - September 23
I am continually inspired
and grateful to be a part of the HoopGirl Network. It's
really about so much more than hoopdance. Christabel
(HoopGirl Founder) and I just
completed a three-day teacher training here in
Portland. It was a rich experience... facilitating
14 talented individuals in their discovery of their
path as teachers.
There is so much to comment on, that I won't do it
justice here. Let me just speak to the power of
potential recognized. Each and every person in the
training has something significant to offer. Again and
again, I am reminded that the SHiNE philosophy is
reflected all around me. It is such an honor to be a
part of the unleashing of personal power. I feel a
responsibility as a trainer: to do everything within my
power to encourage (in-courage... instill courage) by
reminding each person of the uniqueness that is their
birthright. It feels so rewarding to deliver a message
that resonates through every cell of my being...
what you
bring matters!

Facilitating with
Christabel is an utter joy... she and I came together
only a few months ago with such grace. Our styles
compliment one another brilliantly. And she always
amazes me with her evermore radiant presence,
articulate presentation, and authenticity. She is a
true pioneer - not only in the hooping world - but as a
paradigm-shifter at the cutting edge of conscious
business and co-creation. It is truly an honor to work
alongside her. She has offered me a platform to
exercise my gifts... without her faith in me, it would
be a few paces behind where I am now. I am grateful for
the ways that she has held up a mirror to me, as a
colleague and as a friend.
And Miss Taj... ah, what can I say?
She is a Licensed HoopGirl Teacher who participated
in a teacher training we held in LA a few months
ago. She has since jumped on board to join the team
as a Master Trainer and was present throughout the
week to assist - and did she ever! Her silent
service was such a blessing. She is a powerhouse of
presence, with a silent potency I find intoxicating.
I look forward to many more opportunities to work
with her on various levels.
I will save time by keeping my comments general
regarding the attendees (although I could quite easily
post at length about each trainee and his or her unique
brand of magic). It is the mock teaching practicums and
feedback sessions that light me up... this is always my
favorite aspect of the trainings. To witness the
evolution of each trainee - in just three short days -
is pure inspiration. It takes a tremendous amount of
courage to do what they do... jumping in with both feet
and being receptive to feedback from the group. I
celebrate those raw moments, and express my gratitude
at being able to be a part of it.
Congratulations to all of you... Lacye, Erika, Nathan,
Nicole, Ali, Lynn, Sabine, Karly, Tia, Leslie, Yvette,
Anne, Jennifer, & Lori Lynn. You are all uniquely
gifted... it was a joy to be a part of your unfolding.
My Heart Speaks to Me
Since mid-June, I have
shared so much on my blog regarding my recent path of
healing. And in the last few weeks have I taken some
time to journey inward without you all as a witness.
I suppose much of my absence was sparked by a recent
healing session with Kyle Cline. In addition to his
skill in Chinese Medicine, he offers a powerful
receptivity as a counselor and healer. Our session,
on that day in early August, delivered to me many
insights. During a traditional Chi Nei Tsang (organ
massage) treatment, he invite me to dialogue with my
organs one at a time. At first - as we moved from
organ to organ - I heard only my skeptic brain
firing away with doubt... yet in the space that grew
around it, I finally became empty enough to hear.
It was a message from my heart that stood out. Among
other things, it said to me via word and
imagery: "My skin and the skin
of your body are one and the same."
I shared this with Kyle after my treatment. He said it
reminded him of the saying... "you wear your heart on
your sleeve." I was struck by this parallel, as these
words have been spoken to me on more than one occasion
in my life. Ever since then, I have been pondering this
aspect of how I have navigated my emotions in recent
years. Ironically, I have spent the last decade of my
life undoing
the tendency to
hide what I was feeling behind a facade that lasted
through my early-twenties. I carried a thick membrane
of protection - a buffer around me - to keep the world
out... and me in! Since I began shedding the skin of
days old, I have become more vulnerable and have
developed the courage to share what is in my heart with
greater ease. Yet it seems that I may have pushed my
heart to far to the surface, it could use a bit more of
a buffer between it and the conditions that surround.
The skin of the body IS our most largest and most
vulnerable organ. It stands in the face of any number
of elements that can scathe, penetrate, or scar upon
contact. In some cases, trauma to the skin leaves a
scar behind that stands as a testament to the pain for
a lifetime. What is it to say that my heart feels a
similar vastness and vulnerability?
For me, it is to say that I am discovering the power
and freedom of the feminine as a blessing that must be
honored as sacred.

So much has shifted in
recent weeks, since I have last opened the door to my
heart so publicly. I fearlessly allowed you all to bear
witness as my most intimate relationship carried me
through a tempest of change. Over the past month, the
winds of emotion have calmed, and I have accepted an
opportunity to grow and evolve in relationship with
another who is willing to do the same.
The potency of this moment in my life is palpable. I
rode the pendulum - at times holding on for dear life,
or so it seemed - as it swung me from stark-naked open
heartedness to the matter-of-factedness of survival
mode. Somehow, I have found my way to the middle. I am
being invited to embrace my Feminine power and love
myself enough to face the reflections of love in my
life.
My heart is finding its way in the world. It is not
popular to live with an open-heart in a society that
tells us we are weak to live alongside vulnerability.
Nevertheless, I desire to become intimate with love as
it reveals itself to me and through me... the shedding
of old skin making way for more brilliant layers to
shine through.
Why Hoop?!

Master
the Flow of Brilliance
Hoopdance for me has very little to do with perfecting
hoop tricks or enhancing physical conditioning. The
primary reason that I am drawn into the hoop is for the
ways in which it teaches me to reflect the flow of
life.
Much like life, the hoop has a spiraling, elevating
rhythm. This rhythm is one that invites us to merge
with it - neither controlling nor neglecting our place
in it. When we lack trust in this rhythm, we attempt to
strong-arm life...pushing with too much force. At other
times, we fall into the despair of inertia...no longer
giving ourselves to the life all around us.
The experience of flow - of which the hoop is a perfect
mirror - can teach us much about the laws of energy.
While hooping, I must learn to reside in the middle.
The center point, where my axis is grounded with
integrity. I travel around this center, while meeting
my relationship with the hoop in healthy balance. I
push just enough - equally on all sides - to
participate and bring myself to the relationship. When
I attempt to control (or bully) the hoop, it lets me
know by resisting my force. Likewise, when I neglect
its inherent rhythm by refusing to meet it, it lets me
know by weakly fumbling along. On both occasions, the
hoop can be counted on to fall with a
crash! - in that joyful resonance
that announces an opportunity to learn... and return to
the sensation of harmony.
The hoop teaches me how to find and maintain
center.
And it is from the core of me that I find and express
my power.
The
hoop shows me what it is to be in relationship
where
co-dependence immediately reveals its dysfunction...
inviting me to instead differentiate in order to unite
and create harmony.
The
hoop offers me a safe container in which to reach my
brilliance forth, while held in a space that cannot be
penetrated.
And
the hoop reminds me that I am capable of more than I
ever imagined when I surrender to the
flow of life... directing and yielding, smiling and
laughing, spiraling ever higher.
Visit HoopShine.com to experience flow in
your life.
Never Always

Today was the first day of Daniel's Taiji/Qigong series
here at thePortal. It was such a joy for me to see him
- my soul partner and day-to-day companion - sharing
his brilliance with us. His teaching style is so
different from my own, offering me an avenue to grow
and observe a new way of facilitation that I have much
to learn from.
It has been over three years since I studied an energy
art. There was a time when I practiced qigong daily...
and I had a reservoir of power inside of me that
supported me in all else. It was an ideal combination.
I didn't realize at the time that my Nia practice was
rooted by my study of martial arts and inner
traditions.
Even when I walked away from my energy practice, the
power that I had cultivated stayed with me for a good
year or so before I noticed a slowly developing shift
in my way of being. Suddenly, I suffered from a paradox
of desire. I yearned for stillness more and more; yet
my body craved movement when it went without. The
dancer in me waged a war with the subtle intelligence
of my spirit that said something about what I was doing
was not grounded and nurturing to my longevity. I did
what I could to bring the purity of the principles and
foundations of all that I had learned into my Nia
practice... and was successful in some regards.
Nevertheless, an emptiness still began to develop
within. Most notably, my roots became noticeably more
shallow over time. I lost center more often... and my
mind began to reign over my reality again, returned to
something resembling its once unbroken state.
I managed all of these things using the tools I
developed in my path through Nia - the principles and
practice of my belts offered me numerous tactics to
work with these shifts. Nevertheless, it seems that
having too many tools to call upon can easily become a
liability.
I did my best and became very strong in Nia as a
lifestyle practice. And when my body continued to send
me these mixed energetic messages, I ignored them. That
is, until I ended up in the emergency room.
Suddenly, I was forced to listen to the emptiness of my
well. It echoed with hunger. And so, I must fill it
once more. Hence, my choice to reintroducing the
potency and richness of Qigong back into my life. And
as if by divine intervention, I have been
simultaneously paired with a partner who is wealthy in
the ways of abundant waters.
One of the things that I have learned from observing
Daniel (I say observing
as his way of teaching is
in his way of being and is much less overt than my own)
is his ability to take a vast amount knowledge and
distill it down to the wisdom at its very core. I
realize after taking class with him today that this
comes from his years of experience with the eastern
arts... this is at the heart of these traditions that
go back before modern man measured time and compared
truths.
As an example: Today during class, I asked a simple
question regarding hand placement in a movement that we
were doing as a group. I said something to the effect
of, "should my palm always be up when doing such and
such?"
"Never
always," he
said. (His
response, in two words, said more than I often say in a
three-minute monologue.) From there, he came over...
redirected my movement... and no more was needed.
Never
Always.
Today I was reminded how the purest truths come in
small packages.
In the same way Qigong reminds me that powerful changes
come in subtle shifts. If you have ever practiced, held
a seemingly simple posture, and noticed the heat
generated in the body, you know exactly what I mean.
It is my dream to one day develop a practice that
brings together my love of dance/movement as metaphor,
subtle truths, and energy alchemy together as one. That
is the intention of SHiNE BODY. May this blog help to
reveal more of how that shall come to be. In the
meantime, may we all find ways to fill ourselves so
that the waters in our wells flow abundant and free.