Soul Dialogue ~ a personal exercise in self-coaching
A sample dialogue for finding the light in the dark.
Your soul voice is available to you, always.
to learn more about soul dialogues, click here

It Starts with Me:
I ask that you talk through me, here and now.
I feel like shit. I am too tired to fight the fight to feel good. Today is a down day, and I am allowing it to be.

Good.

So that’s it? That’s your divine wisdom?

You have to allow me in order to hear me. Are you open to guidance? Truly? Or are you so adamant about feeling as you feel that you will block my wisdom as it pours in?

I am willing, yes. There is space for light here.

Okay, then. Let’s talk. Forget the medium of the medium... get your hands dirty with me.

Okay.
Where do I start?

With the truth. There is no greater light than the truth. Especially when you are poking around in the dark, as you are now.

Alright. Well, the truth is, I feel like crying. I feel a familiar frustration and powerlessness that comes and goes. It’s been a long time since I have felt it, but it is here now.

What does it say?

It says, that I am so blessed and yet I...

Stop making it pretty. What does it say?

It says that I am afraid. It says that I am lost again. What if all the spiritual mumbo-jumbo is bullshit? How is it that I could be flying so high for months, and then fall with such force?

Ah, well... the impact of a fall is always relative to the height from which you came. You felt higher than ever, so that much more painful is the fall.

Okay. Well that sucks.

Perhaps. Or perhaps the pain is there to paradoxically remind you how far you have ascended in your journey. And let me remind you that you never fall as far as you think. Remember the Spiral Model? {more on this soon}

I guess. But I am angry that I am still working on this piece around my livelihood. I have invited everything I have ever wanted into being. I have so much of what I want. And today, I am angry. What the hell does life want from me?

There is only one way to find out... What do you want from life?

I just want to be me. Isn’t that enough?

If it were, then wouldn’t you just do that?

It’s harder than it sounds. I suppose I really just want to feel good, to be happy.

Okay, that feels closer to the truth. And what feels good to you?

Being creative, being real to the moment, uninhibited self-expression, loving and being loved, laughing, play, adding value, smiling and dancing. So much feels good to me!

Yes, there you go. Shift your focus there.
These are the actions that you must take. Anything that aligns you with these. Let go of worry, doubt, and frustration. Become obsessed instead with joy, possibility, and fascination. You are good at this. You were born knowing how to do this. Reignite the soul through choices that align you with the sensation listed above.

But isn’t it naive to behave in such a way... when there are clearly things that aren’t working.

And so what are you proposing? That somehow focusing your attention on what is not working will help somehow? Do tell... how will worry help to mend what is tattered in your thinking, and thus in your experience?

It won’t.

Right. The only thing that will free you from the hamster wheel of self-defeating thoughts is shifting your attention in another direction. One that feels good.

So...?

So it’s just like they taught you in grade school. Should you catch fire... stop, drop, and roll. In this case... STOP by pausing and witnessing yourself, DROP the story that feels defeating (just let it go!), and ROLL into alignment with what brings you joy by no longer resisting it.

It’s that easy, huh?

Indeed. It can be. If you are willing to let go to the joy that is flowing all around you.

Thanks for the chat. I feel very loved.

Oh, and you are!!

In recent months, I have been swimming in paradox. It's been a peaceful ride through drastic changes in my day-to-day life. A relationship that brought me closer to my fears in order to overcome them has ended. Our parting was filled with compassion and truth, and left me with a sense of completion and wonder. More love than ever, in this case, means letting go.

Another move (the third in 2008!) across town into a solitary existence for the first time in years has been challenging. Add to that, an epic realization that I am no longer the impassioned movement teacher who moved to Portland five years ago. The teacher in me lives on; however, I am no longer drawn to what I once taught. My relationship with Nia has taken me to where I am today and will always be a part of me... but I no longer have the same urge to teach. Teaching hooping has been a joyous journey of learning and connection... yet the business must continue to evolve with me behind the scenes. I am all at once devastated and relieved to be admitting to what I have known for over a year now. I am transforming into a new kind of teacher... and apparently, what exactly this looks like will not reveal itself until I let go of all that I know.

In a final attempt to revive what-once-was, I taught a couple of events this past month. What happened as a result is not unfamiliar to me... it's an experience I have had in the past when I hold on to a reality when it is no longer serving my highest good. It seems to be my spirit's way of speaking to me when I am not listening.

In this instance, it was a moment of teaching... sensing my body, sharing the experience, weaving cues together in new ways and old, as I have for the past seven years... I felt a part of myself (a part that I identify as my spirit, the witness within) begin to rise up just above my body. It feels similar to some out-of-body experiences that I have read about... only without the woo-woo magic and with a lot more fear! I become immersed in the witness and its vantage point, all the while, I am teaching the class on auto-pilot - without missing a beat. The words flow out, the students respond, and I am suspended slightly above, observing it all. Re-reading this it sounds entirely too mystical... when in actuality, it's far from warm and fuzzy. When it is happening, I feel a surge of anxiety that borders on panic. My sensory perception becomes so heightened that it is almost painful to take it all in... everything amplified - sounds, light, my own emotion. It's like a threshold that I can contain only for so long without going mad. Usually with body awareness, I can recover center once more within a second or two. Anyway, when I tap into this hovering aspect of myself, it always delivers the same message in the end. Something like: I don't want to do this anymore. I've done all I can here. Set me free.

Later, once in-body and out-of-class, I fight back with reason. Come on now! We have invested so much time and energy here. (and yes, it's a "we"). We are good at this and we should keep doing it! This argument is my ego's attempt to reign my spirit in... to get it to sign on for an agenda that is safe and secure. Only, it's not. My spirit plays the trump card when it lifts me out of body. My rational mind is silenced. There is no "reason" for what I am experiencing... and nothing about it feels like what my ego calls "safety."

I was reflecting on this to a dear friend in a moment of sorrow. I told her about a moment of rising above myself teaching on auto-pilot. And the sense of emptiness that I felt while teaching what used to fill my heart with passion. I voiced my frustration and self-judgement ... WHY are things always changing? Why can't I just be great at something and then do it again and again, fulfilled by the service I am offering? Why the need to re-invent myself? Why I am rejecting the status quo yet again? Am I just an ego-maniac looking for a fix that I will never find?!

I could almost feel her smiling on the other end. Then, in a sage moment, she responded and struck a chord of truth that I desperately needed strumming. ... Candice, you are a creator and a seeker. You will never be satisfied doing anything once it becomes auto-pilot. You are just not wired that way. You will always transform and change beyond it because it is in your nature to do so.

Uh, yeah.
It is undeniable and true.

Thanks, Sylvia.

And so, I yield.
I let go, again.

This must be what it feels like to be the dust speck on Horton Hears A Who... floating about in the air, hopeful that some force much larger and unseen will carry it to safety. In a way, I guess it is the SHiNE message at work through me... as we all feel that way from time-to-time, especially when we answer the call from within. In the words of Horton, may we remember: "let that be a lesson to one and to all; a person is a person, no matter how small."

And might I add..
Whomever, however, wherever you might be.
The heart of your SHiNE has the right to be free.

Be you. Embrace who you are to keep the light on.

AIHT
American Institute of Holistic Theology

I have always been passionate about bridging the spaces that separate. As a child, I was often the mediator between feuding friends; as an adult, the diplomat able to navigate delicate communications. Yet I feel most passionate about supporting integration in the intersecting avenues of spirit. I am taking this opportunity to do just that by learning and growing through AIHT's distance learning program. No doubt this journey, just beginning, will inspire my work in powerful ways. Stay tuned and thanks for your kind thoughts of support on my new adventure!
- Candice

Learn more about AIHT

I just finished watching The Moses Code, a relatively new release by director James Twyman. Take the recent hit, The Secret, and add higher consciousness including a heavy emphasis on the role of service and interdependence in spirituality. Unlike the teachings of late that have paved the way, this film is not promoting a metaphysical message focused on empowering the self... instead it emphasizes a holy message intent upon empowering the soul. The movie centers around the words revealed to Moses at the burning bush... I Am That I Am... and offers a suggestion for an entirely new way of approaching this message. I will not go into the particulars... as the purpose of this posting is not to review the movie. There is much to be said about the film... yet, I am writing from a personal place tonight.

There is an undeniable truth that I have been overlooking in my life. It helped reveal itself to me tonight, and I have decoded a perception that is a recent source of great struggle.

Pictured above is me just a few months after I arrived in Portland, over four years ago. As you can see, I looked very different then. I had very short hair... and my body was tight and brimming with muscles from the diligence of daily pushing them to their edge. This was an important season in my life. Beginning in the year 2000, the body you see above carried me through many achievements and much growth. My streamlined physique above reflected my business ethic, my single-minded ambition, and my passion at the time.

This was the true beginning of a destiny that I felt called to embody. It stemmed from a reason for being that resonated within me for as long as I can remember. And in the years from the time of that photo to now, I have witnessed the miraculous. I have watched myself inch ever-more closely to my calling (and I know this, because the voice gets louder). And the primary way that I have done this to date has been to say "yes" to pathways that have enabled me to connect to the voice within. One choice at a time, I awakened to my soul's yearning... saying yes to heartbreak as a journey to self love.... yes to an insatiable spiritual inquiry... yes to the emergence of the leader within in job after job... yes to being unpopular to others in the pursuit of my truth... yes to movement as a vehicle for unleashing my brilliance... yes to hooping as a pathway to understand what enlivens me in the presence of others. Again and again, yes has been leading me home.

Now, I find myself standing at the doorway of my mission as a messenger in this time of great love embodiment. And, suddenly, "no" has stepped in.

I have been experiencing a great paralysis. I am no longer the same driven woman in that picture above... a young soul who manifested opportunity after opportunity... businesses, clients, and projects. The one who dared to dream of a life where she could work for herself. The one who worked endlessly, blasting through to-do lists and pushing through with a warrior mindset. I am the woman on the other side of the wall she busted through. I find myself standing at the point of entry, saying: "Ah yes, now... I know what I can and must do." And... I do nothing! Much unlike this decade of movement that propelled me into the now, anything other than stillness feels false to this new me.

And so, it was today that I wondered aloud to a dear friend, "What is it that stops me from the actions towards this next creation of my soul's deepest yearning?"

The pieces are coming together now. You see, I have felt conflicted in my heart. I have always been wired in such a way that I cannot step forth on a path where my heart does not fully align. I have experienced it admiration, resentment, and utter confusion from others for this inherent trait in me. Yet, I have come to accept it in myself.

The degree to which my heart has been halting the progression of my path as an aspiring author is becoming more clear. I now understand that an old paradigm has expired, and a new one has been forming. I am unwilling to take even a step forward with a worn-out energetic that feels out of integrity with who I am destined to become.

My Destiny in this life is Service.
And the gifts that I am blessed with are not commodity or product.
They are blessed pathways that require Grace and Humility.

The old paradigm is that of the Entrepreneur. Much of its energy hinges on the question of how to take skills and talents and make them a marketable and sustainable source of sustenance in my life. This mode of being is not good or bad, as it certainly served its time in my life. Nevertheless, it has been flipped on its head over the past few months, and I see it now clear as day. I don't know yet how this will change how and what I do... but I do know that a rapid and irreversible revolution is happening with me on a soulular level.

While I am not rejecting the ways of business development as we know them to operate, I am certain that my creative energies will continue to allude me if I continue to yoke them to dollars and cents. In this new world where I see us all benefiting organically from the way in which we are destined to serve this world, a financial plan for a path of transformation feels somehow forced. Certainly, I can set objectives! Yet, I know that what I must create I must create for the sake of serving a greater good.

I must serve because service is needed.
I must give of myself because giving is the only thing that matters.

Even to me it sounds a bit idealistic. How will I pay my bills if I take a month off to write a book? How can I energetically give away my time and energy to causes that need it without room in my budget? I will not go there. I leave such miracles to God. I only know that this is the simplification (however naive) that must take place as I move forward on my path. I opened myself to God through the path of the Entrepreneur... and now the Minister is stepping in to take her place.

It is not that I believe I have to live minimally (or go without the material pleasures in life) to be great in service.... yet I do know that, for me, service must start to proceed my monetary apprehensions and needs to feel secure. I fully appreciate and honor the ways in which the business-mind is shaping my reality and providing me with liberties to have choice over what I do with my time... yet, what AM I doing with my time? This may sound dramatic but everything aside from helping others to feel the light of their brilliance within feels like a slow death to me. Too much time is spent on complex business operations and not enough on the inspirations that pulse through me in the moment.

I am taking my life back now.
I pray for the divine guidance within me to show me the way.

Tags: the moses code, book review, i am that

February 2008 - Book of The Month
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
by Eckhart Tolle

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. This is a book that I picked up nearly two years ago, when it was first released. The degree to which the pages are earmarked and inked is a testament to what a treasured resource it continues to be on my spiritual path. I was thrilled when I learned that Oprah Winfrey has joined forces with Eckhart Tolle. They will be sharing this extraordinary work worldwide through a 10-week interactive webinar. - Candice

Creating a New Earth is a Community Event. Join Us.
Our community has the opportunity to be an active participant in a global force, led by Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey. Join Life Coach and Joyful Visionary, Candice Schutter, as she opens her home studio to a gathering of those interested in experiencing the power of collective awakening. Candice will help facilitate exploration of the depths of this work in a weekly offering - equal parts coaching and community book discussion. We will gather as a group to attend the online class LIVE, and then stick around to discuss our experiences. This is a donation-only community event.

A New Earth  SHiNE Circle
Group Coaching & Discussion Group
the SHiNE Portal - NE Portland
Mondays, March 3 - May 5
6:00pm to 8:30pm
6:00pm Webinar (view together)
7:30pm Refreshments & Discussion

Just 3 Easy Steps:

1
SIGN UP ONLINE
at Oprah.com for the online webinar and access to workbook supplements.

2
RSVP to SHiNE
Email us to let use know you plan to attend. Space is limited, so act now.

3
AWAKEN in COMMUNITY
Read each week’s assigned chapters and join us on Monday nights to share in the experience.

Donation Only Event
Please RSVP prior to attending

Tags: A new earth, book review

This year, I have set an intention to visit various spiritual communities. This past Sunday, Daniel and I attended an offering at Maitripa Institute. The wise and internationally recognized Yangsi Rinpoche led a small group of us in a two-hour Tibetan Buddhist dharma talk and practice. It was lovely. There were around a dozen of us seated on meditation cushions before him and a gorgeous and elaborate altar that spread from one wall to the other.

When he entered, we stood out of respect. The Rinpoche then led us in chanting through three prostrations to the altar. Once he turned to face us, we followed the group (clearly his students) as we offered this respected teacher three more full prostrations. Each time, forehead to earth, we honored him with gratitude. Recognizing some new faces in the crowd, he spoke to this practice first. He explained that the gesture of bowing is meant to place the mind in the state of devotion. While we bow before our teacher, it is not about the personality that we bow before. It is instead to bless he whom to the teaching comes through. I am familiar with prostration as a practice, and feel happy to lay my ego at the feet of another - as long as I trust the guidance he or she may provide. I understand that I may choose to graciously decline any teaching as soon as it no longer serves my highest good. It took me some time, but once I came to know this, I became free to truly receive from others in my practice.

The two-hours that followed consisted of combined prayer and chanting. This interspersed with the Rinpoche's teachings of Tibetan Buddhism. My favorite moments were those in which his face exploded with joy. The many laugh lines appearing on his face at the bloom of a smile is enough to make one who doubts reincarnation a believer. Could one lifetime truly fill so much joy into one smile! Ah well, with a smile like that, there is very certainly much to be learned from this humble monk.

We ended with more chanting. I love the rhythms in Tibetan chanting. Each prayer was like a song. Some in Tibet, others in English... no matter the language, they held a similar resonance.

I recommend Maitripa as a place to experience Buddhist practice in action. Be prepared to sit for long periods of time... and be willing to follow the lead of those around you through practices that might feel somewhat foreign. A beautiful environment to connect with the essence of just one aspect of Tibetan culture. Thanks to places like Maitripa, it will never be lost.

Visit Maitripa online

What is My SHiNE Ministry?
You can view all My SHiNE Ministry entries in the blog archive (see sidebar).

Tags: maitripa

Many of us have a burning desire within us that is hidden. I don't mean a desire of the body world (such as in the acquisition of things). Rather, I mean a way of being that we feel somehow called to. I am making mine known and public now.

Deep within, I consider myself a Minister in the making. A messenger of spiritual matters. One who brings heaven to earth via word, thought, and deed. I aspire to become the Priestess.

For a time, I sought out ways in which to embody this... each resulting in an ill-fit. I explored education: a Masters in Divinity would give me credibility, sure. But am I not interested in being a religious scholar. I thought perhaps I needed to find a religious organization to represent and become ordained through. This, too, confused me as I am a Minister of The Spirit of Many, not any one religion or doctrine of practice. Part of what draws me to represent this spiritual re-education in our culture is the way in which I can always see the brilliance (and overlap) in the many religions out there. How does one minister as a representative of the core essence of all religions? There is only one way that I can see to do so. To walk the talk as best I can.

Over time, I have decided to venture out on a Spiritual Apprenticeship of my own making. In 2008, I will be sharing my journeys with you. I will continue visiting various spiritual circles... I have done this intermittently for the past 4 years since I first moved to Portland. Now I will begin to share my experiences with you. I hope to highlight the aspects of each experience that truly ignite spiritual brilliance in me. By experiencing the gift of each practice, and sharing them with you as a service, I am a Minister in Training.

May 2008 lead me to the fulfillment of a life-long desire. My SHiNE Ministry is born.

You can view all My SHiNE Ministry entries in the blog archive (see sidebar).

Sabino Canyon, Arizona
November 21, 2007

Yesterday we hiked 10 miles... a journey into Sabino Canyon just outside of Tucson, Arizona. This is by far the best photo taken of Daniel and I on the mountain side. The desert is so majestic and beautiful. It's like walking in another world.

We are here visiting Daniel's family (his Dad's side) for the Thanksgiving holiday. The sunny skies... and the warm, dry air is medicinal to my body and spirit. I forget how much pleasure I feel in the silent pathways along a mountainside... blazing towards the summit. There is a meditation in walking a trail that is unparalleled. The first half hour or so, there is an effort to it. The body, like an engine, warming up and readying itself for the road ahead. Then it happens. The zone in which the body and nature become one... and the mountain seems to move me.

As I was traversing my way down the trail, I noticed my legs feeling that lovely warm, rubbery sensation. I began to pick up speed and hop and skip... up and down... in and out of the miniature mazes created by fallen rock. The subtle muscle fatigue caused me to slip now and then. I did the dance of regaining center each time (something that I secretly relish in). One such time, Daniel was behind me, and he cautioned me with care. Then added playful, "you're so graceful, baby." I smiled... then I heard myself say:

"Grace is in how your recover; it's not about what happens along the way." And as I continued to walk, I contemplated these words and settled upon their truth, for me, at this moment in my journey.

Nature has a mysterious medicine that can be heard with the ears of silence.
Here's to more adventures in Her landscapes!

When I woke, I told Daniel (my partner in home and life) what I had just experienced. He listened intently, as he does so well. Then he added with surprise that we had dreamed the same! He had just woken from a dream where I had stepped in a campfire! He was yelling to me to pull my foot out quickly. In his dream, my pant leg had caught fire. He was concerned for my safety.

It was as if he penetrated my own dream world to be the man who cautioned me; as he was simultaneously receiving the same message. And interesting that in his dream the fire was burning hot. In my waking world, he is often urging me to slow down and sees fires burning wild in me when I am not fully aware. I am grateful to him as a witness.

In that same dream, I was running around the campsite holding a very small and sweet turtle in my hand. It was so small that I could hold it with my thumb and forefingers. I had been told to represent the turtle in a fight against another animal who was much bigger and faster. I remember feeling anxiety that this kind, slow-moving creature would be placed up against such a senseless challenge. I was struck by its continual pleas for help... as it would stretch out its head and cry out before retreating again and again into its shell for protection. I telepathically urged it to stay inside! but it kept crying out for help.

So I say to whatever Dream Guides may be out there... I am heeding your call. The message of the fire delivered through both Daniel and I is undeniably something to be mindful of. And the Medicine of the Turtle fits into this mix perfectly. I am grateful to that little guy in my dream!

TURTLE MEDICINE
http://morningstar.netfirms.com/turtle.html

Affirmation for Turtle Medicine:
"I am open to moving with the waters of life that I may find my true place and fulfillment."

When Turtle appears and for those who carry this medicine, it is also important that we have patience and act only when we feel the time is right for us to do so. Turtles themselves are slow moving and do have slow metabolisms. Yet because of their slow movement they are much more aware of what is going on around them! We can call upon this energy to help become more aware of our own surroundings and thus be better able to grab and act upon opportunities that we might otherwise have missed if we were hurtling along at a more frenetic pace!

Faster is not always better, if one moves too quickly, attention to minor details may be passed over resulting in a loss of opportunity because one was not better prepared or one may fail to notice that an even more fulfilling door was opening. Our world has become so solar, everyone feeling the push to constantly act and do rather than sit and just be and know that from time to time, thats precisely what we need to be doing. Yet as a very wise person once said, "we are Human BE-ings, not Human Do-ings!"

Other things that may be important for you when Turtle appears :
- A successful completion of one phase leads to a new cycle of opportunity opening for you.
- Greater Success and Recognition for hard work and painstaking effort.
- A sense of willingness to begin anew after a cycle of pain or hardship.
- Feeling more connected with the flow of the Universe or having a sense of your own personal cosmic mission.
- International travel or business success.
- A Change of job or residence, sometimes via a promotion that leads to needing to change one's residence.
- Anything that requires patience, hard work, attention to details or is very long term is wonderful to start at this time.

TURTLE
http://www.geocities.com/tammlynn/turtle.htm

The turtle is a shore creature, using the land and the water. All shore areas are associated with doorways to the Faerie Realm. The turtle is sometimes known as the keeper to the doors. Turtles thus were often seen as signs of fairy contact and the promise of fairy rewards.

 In Nigeria, the turtle was a symbol of the female sex organs and sexuality. To the Native Americans, it was associated with the lunar cycle, menstruation, and the power of the female energies. The markings and sections on some turtles total thirteen. In the lunar calendar, there are either thirteen full moons or thirteen new moons alternating each year. Many believe this is where the association with the female energies originated. Turtle is the symbol of the primal mother.

[Interestingly, I had started my moon in the middle of the night, just prior to having this dream.]

If turtle has shown up in your life, it is time to get connected to your most primal essence. Go within your shell and come out when your ideas are ready to be expressed. It is time to recgonize that there is an abundance out there for you. It doesn't have to be gotten quickly and immediately. Take your time and let the natural flow work for you. Too much, too soon, can upset the balance. Turtle reminds us that we all need for all that we do is available to use, if we approach it in the right manner and time.

Tags: turtle medicine, dreams

I am blessed to be writing this by the warmth of a fire, oceanside in Manzanita (on the Oregon Coast). Daniel's family has a beautiful home right at the water's edge. It's a space that I call the Sanctuary... as it brings me tremendous peace to spend time here. To come here is something I hope to never take for granted. As I type this, Daniel reads me the following quote from a book he is reading, One Song: A New Illuminated Rumi. (We both share a fascination with Sufism and its wisdom.)

Separate from yourself that which separates you from others.
- Bawa Muhaiyaddeen

What a potent message. As I hear the waves crashing out the window at my back, I am reminded that life - by design - is continually renewing itself. My life is a part of Life Itself; and therefore, I am in harmony when attuned to Its natural cycles. The ocean whispers to me, "Let go of all that you know yourself to be in order to pour back into the exhilarating vastness of who you may soon become." I say yes... I am willing to do just that. Perhaps the quote above is a reliable instrument of measure in determining which aspects I might release, and which to embrace and hold as sacred. The sea holds onto nothing. It continually circulates and renews... keeping no wave separate from another.

May I learn to walk in the world with as much grace as the ocean.

Today is my birthday. And I write to give thanks for each and every moment of my life. Yes, even the moments most painful... especially those. Someone in my family who loves me very much recently said, "I wish that I could take all these trials away from you." And for just a moment, I had a glimpse of my life without its current opportunities for growth. Without skipping a beat, I replied, "While I deeply appreciate the sentiment, I welcome my trials... as they make me able to love more in the end."

And that's just what has happened. I am bursting at the seams with an inspired and bountiful sensation of love this morning. Another year has passed... and it was a great year. It was a year that taught me how to love more than I ever knew possible.

I am able to love my friends and family with a new gratitude, as they have each held me so close to their hearts for the past few weeks. Realizing their love for me has helped me to see myself clearly again and again. May each of you know how much your graceful and persistent love is helping to shape me whole again.

I am able to love the dear man who blessed my life with his presence for the past year - to love him even more through the process of letting him go - so that with my blessings he may become the man that he is destined to be in the lives of so many others. May he be a better man having walked with me for a time.

I am able to hold a vaster space of love for my clients - as they pass from light into darkness and into the more luminous light on the other side - for I know what it is to make what is fragmented whole again by holding it to the light of truth. May you catch even a glimpse of the brilliance I know to be yours, and you will sense how the steady gaze of love's mirror works in your life.

And, most importantly, I am able to love myself more. I have learned to rest into my own embrace and welcome the intimacy of self-inquiry and forgiveness. This, thanks to my connection to the one relationship that lifts me highest... that with the Beloved. It is the most treasured love of them all. May I continue to walk in the midst of Your Love... knowing You is knowing that I am loved beyond measure. I commit to no longer keeping my love for You a secret. I commit to fearlessly bringing how You SHiNE Light through me out into the open in the coming year... so that I might inspire others to do the same.

Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me....
Happy Birthday Dear Candice
Happy Birthday to me!

(why wait for someone else to do it? after all, I am dear to me too!)

Tags: happy birthday to me

Cimi 8
White Galactic Worldbridger

I Harmonize in order to equalize
Modeling opportunity
I seal the store of Death
With the galactic tone of Integrity
I am guided by the power of Heart

Above is a variation of a tattoo that I wear at my 2nd chakra... as a symbol to remind me of the medicine that I carry in this life. As with all medicine, we must swallow and learn to ingest that which we are meant to share. And such is the path.

It was 2001 when I first learned of my Mayan Signature (the day that I was born according to the mayan calendar). As soon as I read the above poem describing this archetype, I knew that I was onto something. The more I delved into materials, the more I felt that it described my unique experience of life. Cimi 8 was offering me a tangible power that I could use as a quickening in my life's unfolding. I knew immediately that I would apply this symbol to the energetic center that connects me to this world (just below my navel). I chose to ground my purpose into the flesh.

Now that I am walking my path more visibly (through this SHiNE Blog and events to come), I thought I would share my signature with you... including the poem above and the components that make up the lessons that I am here to learn and share.

(You can likewise reflect on your own path by following the links at the bottom of this posting to decode your own signature and learn more about the mayan calendar).

Color: White
Source of Power

WHITE
Purifiers, shine light into darkness, the light of truth.
Will assist in the calibration of others, and grounding.
Truth, clarity, unification, timelessness, order, spirit.*

This is fascinating to me, as I haven't looked at this detail in years. SHiNE, it says. So much of what white is symbolic of speaks to the core of me. At the time that I got my tattoo, I was learning to navigate much of what is described above. I struggled with truth, with clarity... all that. Over the course of the years, Cimi has taught me the liberation that comes from living in the light. Hence, the passionate commitment to brilliance that I share with you and strive to live in my everyday life.

Tone: Galactic
Creative Contribution

GALACTIC
Model Harmonize Integrity
A model for others, & hold high ideals.
Honesty is essential and integrity is a given.
You are very thorough, and a quick expert.*

To me, walking the talk is crucial. Integrity is everything. My life is meant to be a living model for the ideals that I aspire to. So often, I fall short... yet, I will tell you the truth even then. I ask so much of the people that I am in relationship to. It is no wonder that I have such amazing friendships... and that I have yet to find a man and life partner who aspires to such greatness as me. Ah, but I suppose that I have... the Beloved He that I have met walking along my most recent path.

Tribe: Death
Archetypal Essence

DEATH
Equalize, Opportunity, Death
Tranquility and confidence through spiritual strength.
Adept at applying multidimensional solutions.
Transmutation of paradigms, community oriented.*

I remember being on a beach in Playa Del Carmen, not too long after I got my tattoo. A Mayan man passed by me and pointed to my navel exposed. "Death," he said with a smile as he passed by. I was at first quite startled. And then I realized what he meant... the symbol above with the one-eye closed (Cimi) literally means "death." It was then I really knew that bearing such a symbol meant that I must learn to have peace with all the deaths that make up living. And that I must be willing to die a million times over to reveal the ultimate brilliance that is available to be in this life.

Sometimes, I am not even aware of the force of the light of truth that I bring... as it comes through me without invitation. Recently, someone very close to me commented: "I am afraid of the light that you shine on me." I have been thinking... this may be the best description of death that I have ever heard. Death looks with a penetration that can be painful and downright scary! It casts away shadows to reveal the truth (sometimes tucked away in dark corners within) and dissolves them to the light.

It is not me that does this, but the medicine that moves through me. And I have spent my life making peace with it. There have been times when I felt similar fear towards my own inner witness. Yet, in the end, I am so grateful to be able to dissolve who I am into rebirth again... and again... and again... and again...

In truth, I see my path as an ongoing death. Dying in each moment is what living is really all about. Death of the old, invites the new. I challenge myself to celebrate every death, no matter how painful, as it always reveals new light.

Find Out Your Mayan Signature!

A Mayan Signature will give you information about the creative energies that were active on the day that you were born. Consider it a way to decode aspects of your personal brilliance... with much more revealed than in your sun sign. Due to the complexity of the Mayan calendar, there are 260 possible combinations that come together to make up your Mayan Signature. Check it out... I hope it reveals something to you, as it did for me.

Retrieve the poem for your signature:
http://www.tortuga.com/eng/decode/index.php

More info on your signature (like details on your color, tone, and tribe):
http://www.galactichardwarestore.com/signature_intro_decode.htm
(*this site is the source of the above quoted information)

Tags: cimi 8, white galactic worldbridger, mayan calendar

If you don't know already, there is this amazing technology called: RSS feed. 
You can go to any blog online and make it a part of your everyday. 

If you are interested, here's how to do it...

Activating RSS Feed:

1) Go to the blog of your choice. For example, mine can be found at: 
http://www.candiceschutter.com/blog/blog.html If you are reading this, you are likely there already.

2) Look up in the navigation box, to the right of the web address. You will see a blue box that says: "RSS". Click on it.

3) This will pull up a summary page for the blog. Add that page to your bookmark toolbar. 

From that point forward, you will see a notification on your toolbar each time there is a new posting. 
ie: my blog bookmark would read "SHiNE Blog"... and would show up as: "SHiNE Blog (1)" in the event of a new posting. It works like an blog inbox on your home page! Upon the suggestion of a technically-savvy friend, I now have a folder called "RSS"... with contains bookmarks for a variety of sites that I enjoy reading blog postings for. The folder tells me when there are any new postings on my favorite blogs.

That's it. Just wanted to let you all it on it. 
And I would love to hear from you whenever you feel moved to comment.

If you don't have a blog of your own... consider it! It's a wonderful way to take your journaling to the next level... and dare to shine your brilliance to a broader audience.

Thanks for peeking into my world,
Candice

I am on a flight from Atlanta to Denver... on the first leg of a journey back from a family visit. My presence was requested for my gorgeous niece, and her 3rd birthday party - I did a hoop performance and playshop. It was so wonderful, as always, to be with her and my nephew. (I promised myself that I would make every effort to ensure that they would know their aunt, even though I live so far away).

It's a 3 hour flight, and I just woke from a nap. To tell you the truth, I am little spun. Only three times in my life have a had a dream state like this one (and never on a plane!). It is a quality of sleep where I am teetering cautiously at the brink of conscious and subconscious, surfing the waves of thoughts and images in search of which is what.

The Dream:
I am on this very plane, in this very seat, in these very clothes.. on my way to where I go now. I am watching the direct tv screen. A news segment. The story is on making desires a reality (dreams coming true). I am fascinated as the anchorwoman holds up letters from viewers to demonstrate to her audience just how desperate they are for what she is about to offer them... the secret to living the life of their dreams. I quickly become disinterested in the story, as it is a sensationalized take-off of The Secret... but I am awed by the inclusion of a friend's letter among the many to the station... so, I DECIDE to wake up in order to send her an email, to tell her she is on the in-flight news show. So there I am... completely aware that I am dreaming with eyes open. Suddenly, I am in my body again... sleeping. I tell my body it is time to wake-up. Everything cooperates... only I cannot open my eyes. They are unmoving to the point of painful... stuck closed. It aches to try and open them, but I do. They will not budge. Anxiety surges through me, but I coax my emotions back to a center point in order to meet my aim more calmly. Slowly and suddenly, my eyes open. Ah, what relief!

But wait... I look around... I AM in the plane... in this seat, yet I suddenly realize that I am still not yet awake. Again, dreaming with eyes open tells me that I am still sleeping with eyes shut. Replay... I try to open them... again, they will not budge. Finally, they open at the urgency of my will. Again, I look around... and I am STILL asleep... and the cycle repeats for a third time!!

On this third attempt... I finally awaken for real.

When I finally woke, that depth... that prison of eyes wide shut beckoned me to challenge it with sleep again. There was no way that I would re-enter that unrelenting dream state. As l looked around at my environment, I struggled to tell myself that I was indeed awake... I was hesitant to be caught in the illusion again. Only a trip to the bathroom and a bite of food succeeded in convincing me. And now I sit perched on the bridge between this dream and that.

I had a dream almost identical to this months ago, where I woke... and woke... and woke. Finally to awaken to find that I understood what maya is... and the teaching that we are living in a dream in each and every moment. Although in my last dream, one very particular detail was different. Rather than my EYES that would not open... it was my JAW that was locked shut. My voice was that which would free me from the dream state. And today, it was my sight.

What I wake up wondering today is...
When will I really wake up? And what resistance will I face in order to push past that edge?

It is as though my eyes have been closed all along, and I have been waking up over and over ... and over again... to find that I have been dreaming with my eyes open for my entire life. Each new fabrication of reality is a dream... until I wake up to create a new one. Perhaps each time I wake up, the Observer that I am (my spirit) is activated to see more clearly. I have long felt that I am but a witness in the dream that is this world. Certainly, I have gotten tangled in many a drama in my past experience... however, the more that I wake up the more that I see that none of it permeated to the depths of who I really am.

I am the same Observer/Witness/Eyes that I was when I lost my yellow umbrella at kindergarten... when I was spinning around a May Pole in the 4th grade... and when I lost my virginity in high school. I am those age-less eyes that watched all the drama unfold in my heart and mind. And over the course of the years, I have become more and more aware of how many layers there are to this dream of existence. I aim to live from the eyes of this Higher Self, so that retrospect need not always be that which unplugs me from the storyline. And so I know that as I type these words, I am not awake. I know that the dream still has me in it. And I look forward to waking up again and again throughout the course of my life.

Perhaps one day... I will experience the awakening that only a few ever speak of. The enlightenment of seeing through all the veils at once. Death is the awakening that slices through them simultaneously... yet, I am willing to belief that The Purest Knowing is available right here on earth. May I awaken to find it one day soon.

Blessings to you in this Great Dream that is life....

Candice

Tags: dream, Awakening

I spent over two decades - and a wealth of energy - wading helplessly in my heart's cries to reign over my life. I was continually seeking approval from others and casting myself as a victim in countless dramas of misconception. And then I discovered within me the potential to choose. I discovered that life gifts to me in relationship to what I gift to it. I discovered that darkness begets darkness, and that brilliance begets a life where feeling good is the only option.

I did everything in my power to think myself into feeling good. I embraced metaphysics, and actively made my life happen in accordance with my desires. However, I quite often became exhausted having faith only in myself - and the idea that I was the creator of my reality. How could I be sure what was best for me when there were limitless options available to me. I had everything that I thought I wanted... and somehow had let myself down. Where was the core fulfillment in it all? And how could I explain the emergence of so many miracles in my life, all those things that I didn't even know I needed? Who created those? Who is busy creating the miracles that fill my life with richness, while I am busy pulsing and toiling over the mundane?

It was then that I chose to sever my vows as a spiritual orphan. I may not belong to a particular religious tradition, but I do belong to more than myself. I am a sliver of light in the high beam of existence. True, I attract in accordance with my desires; yet only that which is best for the illumination of Who I Truly Am.. in service of the highest purpose (of which I am a willing, essential, and wonderous participant). And, while my willingness is required, I am not the one who makes the light possible.

I now realize (real-eyes) that the greatest power that I have access to is the power to be the person that I am. It is up to me to define the sensations that I want more of in my life, and to make choices that resonate accordingly. It is up to me, to deny or to embrace my brilliance. Over time, I have made the choice to embrace my gifts. Abandoning the arrogance of self-doubt... and embracing the humility of moving as if my life matters. And since then, the most meaningful miracles have emerged in my life.

Suddenly, my full-time job is feeling good. Getting out of the way. Allowing my SHiNE to operate in my life, and most importantly, in the lives of others. I call my brilliance by name... and that name is not mine. It is a sensation of grace and inspiration that calls back to me:

"SHiNE so that others might do the same. Collectively re-ignite a world where love is a light that burns from within each person. Illuminate a global reality where individual brilliance is the understood beacon to connect to the Source of All Light."

- Candice Schutter, Shine Founder

Tags: shine coaching