Soul Dialogue ~ a personal exercise in self-coaching
A sample dialogue for finding the light in the dark.
Your soul voice is available to you, always.
to learn more about soul dialogues, click here

It Starts with Me:
I ask that you talk through me, here and now.
I feel like shit. I am too tired to fight the fight to feel good. Today is a down day, and I am allowing it to be.

Good.

So that’s it? That’s your divine wisdom?

You have to allow me in order to hear me. Are you open to guidance? Truly? Or are you so adamant about feeling as you feel that you will block my wisdom as it pours in?

I am willing, yes. There is space for light here.

Okay, then. Let’s talk. Forget the medium of the medium... get your hands dirty with me.

Okay.
Where do I start?

With the truth. There is no greater light than the truth. Especially when you are poking around in the dark, as you are now.

Alright. Well, the truth is, I feel like crying. I feel a familiar frustration and powerlessness that comes and goes. It’s been a long time since I have felt it, but it is here now.

What does it say?

It says, that I am so blessed and yet I...

Stop making it pretty. What does it say?

It says that I am afraid. It says that I am lost again. What if all the spiritual mumbo-jumbo is bullshit? How is it that I could be flying so high for months, and then fall with such force?

Ah, well... the impact of a fall is always relative to the height from which you came. You felt higher than ever, so that much more painful is the fall.

Okay. Well that sucks.

Perhaps. Or perhaps the pain is there to paradoxically remind you how far you have ascended in your journey. And let me remind you that you never fall as far as you think. Remember the Spiral Model? {more on this soon}

I guess. But I am angry that I am still working on this piece around my livelihood. I have invited everything I have ever wanted into being. I have so much of what I want. And today, I am angry. What the hell does life want from me?

There is only one way to find out... What do you want from life?

I just want to be me. Isn’t that enough?

If it were, then wouldn’t you just do that?

It’s harder than it sounds. I suppose I really just want to feel good, to be happy.

Okay, that feels closer to the truth. And what feels good to you?

Being creative, being real to the moment, uninhibited self-expression, loving and being loved, laughing, play, adding value, smiling and dancing. So much feels good to me!

Yes, there you go. Shift your focus there.
These are the actions that you must take. Anything that aligns you with these. Let go of worry, doubt, and frustration. Become obsessed instead with joy, possibility, and fascination. You are good at this. You were born knowing how to do this. Reignite the soul through choices that align you with the sensation listed above.

But isn’t it naive to behave in such a way... when there are clearly things that aren’t working.

And so what are you proposing? That somehow focusing your attention on what is not working will help somehow? Do tell... how will worry help to mend what is tattered in your thinking, and thus in your experience?

It won’t.

Right. The only thing that will free you from the hamster wheel of self-defeating thoughts is shifting your attention in another direction. One that feels good.

So...?

So it’s just like they taught you in grade school. Should you catch fire... stop, drop, and roll. In this case... STOP by pausing and witnessing yourself, DROP the story that feels defeating (just let it go!), and ROLL into alignment with what brings you joy by no longer resisting it.

It’s that easy, huh?

Indeed. It can be. If you are willing to let go to the joy that is flowing all around you.

Thanks for the chat. I feel very loved.

Oh, and you are!!

April/May 2009

The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us...the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
 

As a coach, I am privy to the themes of human experience. While the stories of our lives take on different shapes and characters, certain sensations are common. Feeling stuck - either energetically or circumstantially - is a common sensation that we all face at one time or another.
 
Upon closer examination, "I feel stuck" is describing a sensation of powerlessness. To feel powerless is to lose connection to the voice of your soul and the more of you that is longing to become. As a life coach with a soulular approach, my job is to poke around in the dark to help realign you with the light source beckoning to you from within - reflecting itself through your life experience.
 
Neale Donald Walsch cleverly describes the SOUL as a Singular Output of Universal Life. So let's imagine your soul is a light source through which a larger intelligence speaks to you. Your soul light shines on the fluid landscape of your life in order to guide your way. Like a compass, it directs you to move this way and that in order to connect you with the larger Light of Source. When you yield to the trajectory of your soul, you feel the bliss of Source shining upon you. You feel powerful as you move towards more of you as an outpicturing of this Larger Light. Your soul is unfolding you through your experiences, and its job is to take you in the direction of more of you becoming. Yet, when you turn from your loving soul light - often towards the directional light of what you think others might want of you - you feel lost and disconnected from joy. The light seems to elude you. Why? Your soul has shifted its energetic focus in the direction of who you have become, and you are not following along. You are stuck being who you once were. Your discomfort is your soul calling out your name in the dark, inviting you to turn towards your future. Thus, the feeling of being lost (or stuck) is good news! It lets you know that you have developed into the new you, and that now is a time to shift your vantage point and direction.
 
Living authentically is an internal gauge that can only be read from within. When you are in alignment with your soul light - your values, passions, purpose, who you are becoming - you know it by how good you feel. Authenticity is an continuous dance of keeping your vibration (way of being) level with the next evolution of your soul's unfolding.
 
When your soul light turns you in an unpopular direction; you must go in order to realign. Approval is fluid and co-creative - others reflect how much you are able to accept your right to become. They give your will something to push against in order to develop strength and confidence in who you are. Yet, this discomfort too shall pass. In the end, living authentically is never about rebellion - fighting against what others think of you only strengthens your fixation on them as your gauge. Nor is authentic living about isolation - to live in alignment with who you are does not require abandoning the desires of (and your commitment to) those you love. On the contrary, you are more present and true in every relationship when you are confident, secure, and walking in the world as who you really are. You no longer confuse the way you feel with outside causes; nor do you expect others to be as you are. You understand that YOU are the first cause of your greatest joys and sorrows, not those around you. Because your joy depends on you alone, the people in your life approach you eagerly. Your feeling good is up to you...they are off the hook! This leaves you both present for authentic connection.
 
As a final thought: when you are feeling powerless, it is important to note that your soul light only gets stronger and stronger in your search for it. It is there; always it is there calling out to you. In fact, without this light from behind, you would not even be able to see your shadow. Isn't that a grand design!

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Tags: soul light, life coach portland, life coaching, inspiration, soul, neale donald walsh

November 2008

Cowardice asks the question, Is it safe?
Expediency asks the question, Is it politic?
Vanity asks the question, Is it popular?
But, conscience asks the question, Is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because one's conscience tells one that it is right.
Martin Luther King, Jr

Courage is be true to what is in your heart, even in the face of potential backlash. There is pressure in our culture to be politically neutral in the arena of business. Like the separation of church and state, we often keep our principles and politics out of the workplace and confine it to our homes. In many instances, there is wisdom in such intentions. Too often, personalities become intertwined in political debates and everyone loses in the need to be right. For some reason we find cause to argue, caught in the out-dated illusion that in order to be for something we have to be against someone.

Nevertheless, tonight I challenge the status quo. I step out of the box. I become transparent in my principles because, for the first time in my life, I feel the emergence of a leader who echoes my conscience. My business and my practice are really a reflection of who I am, and an aim to share my gifts through the way I am designed to serve. And so, with joy and an unprecedented feeling of my own ideals and truths reflected, I share my unabashed joy at the election of Barack Obama as the new president of the United States. In doing so, I take the risk that some of you will confuse my principles with political issues and turn a derisive ear on my musings. It's a chance I am willing to take; as I believe that truth and transparency always lead us closer to what unites us in the end.

Hope is the voice within, that in the absence of all evidence insists that Light is still present.
Hope, a fundamental SHiNE Principle.

I can't ever remember feeling connected to a political leader who lived and drew breath in my lifetime. I have yearned to feel inspired by, not only a personality, but a message that resonates at the core of who I am. My life has been a bumpy journey guiding me towards the ideals of truth, humility, grace, compassion, and most of all, hope.

I so often looked around at the world in which I lived with confusion, wondering if the unity, diplomacy, and promise that I know is possible might ever be reflected back to me on a large scale in my lifetime. As a child who moved from small town to small town, I felt isolated from the world of stability and abundance. As an adolescent I was baffled by my small but powerful reality that demanded an offensiveness of me that I didn't inherently possess. As a young college student, I dove into philosophy, religion, and ancient texts as substitutes for the leadership I yearned for in my coming of age. And as a young adult, I have often felt I am designed to live in a different world than the one reflected back to me in our cultural habits and expectations. Nevertheless, I have fought to live the life of hope through my choices. No matter what safety, expedience, and vanity might have to say...inner authority matters most of all. And there is a light inside of me - however dim it may seem at times - that says it is possible to be who I am in this world. It is indeed possible to recreate a world in which everyone feels he or she has a place and a significance.

Tonight, I shed tears of joy as I witnessed a crowd of hundreds of thousands of people like me (young, diverse, and full of promise) with light and possibility in their eyes. While I have confidence in Obama's principles and what he represents, I did not vote for a man, an issue, or an icon. I voted for a message of hope and unity. I have no doubt that as a president he will face challenges, and I pray that as Americans we offer he and his family the grace of humanness. However, it is the premise of possibility and common purpose that inspires me beyond he, the person. It is what his brilliance elicits in others that matters most to me. It's the look of determination, inspiration, and strength that I saw reflected in eyes of so many in the crowd that gathered all over the country that moved me to tears. You see, as a coach and teacher, I know the power of a will driven by purpose. Nothing stands in the way of the promise of possibility when the will is self-initiated and encouraged.

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
Barack Obama

I have never felt more certain and motivated in my work and in the potential of a new world. Tonight, I cried for the child inside of me - and the ancient archetype inside of so many around the world - who never thought someone like her could ever be fully accepted by the world in which we live.

Regardless of your political affiliation, may you have the courage to look beyond division and find a way to unify and align with the greater good that we all seek. I respect you fully for your beliefs, your principles, and your vote in any direction. May we embrace a world where we can all be honored and listened to in our joys and successes, and more importantly in our disappointments and frustrations.

Personally, I see a universal victory in the outcome of this election. In this season of long days of darkness, we are forced look to the light within - the spark of potential felt, yet unseen in the absence of sun. It is from that prick of light inside that spring is seeded. In actuality, potential for change comes not from an outside source, but from our own conviction and inner compass in life. May we all tend to the hope within in order to unite in a common purpose. After all, in the end, it is our differences that empower and enable us to experience deep love, living in a symphonic harmony that sameness simply cannot express.

Yours as a New American,
Candice

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Tags: life coach portland, obama hope

Faith (according to Wikipedia):
To commit oneself to act based on sufficient evidence to warrant belief, but without absolute proof. Mere belief on the basis of evidence is not faith. To have faith involves an act of will.

Today I spent some time talking with a very dear friend regarding some changes developing in her life. As I listened to her story, I reflected on how much is unknown in the unfolding of our lives. As humans, we are most comfortable with some degree of predictability in our everyday. When that sense of order is challenged, we can sometimes feel like we are in the midst of a great ocean without sight of the shore. What should I do? Where am I headed? And how will I know when I get there?!, we wonder.

I am definitely a black sheep in my family... yet really in the best possible way. My relatives often wonder at the way I choose to live my life. I have made the conscious choice to sacrifice certain securities for a those uncertain. While many of the conditions of my life have fluctuated considerably over the years, the one security that matters most to me (while it may be briefly forgotten from time to time) is never truly threatened. It resides deep within my heart. It is FAITH. Faith in the Brilliance that guides my life. It is the "SH NE" that "i" am surrounded by.

Recent events have actually challenged the faith that is my trusted foundation. Given the recent evolution in my most intimate relationship (with a man whom I love dearly), Brilliance has taught me a very valuable lesson. I am realizing that, all too often, I have prematurely assigned my faith inappropriately. Upon reflection, I see that I have placed my faith in a condition (such as: a particular job, relationship, or source of inspiration)... leading me to be repeatedly baffled when I outgrow it. At other times, I have placed my faith in those people close to me, sometimes experiencing confusion (or even resentment) when their desires no longer align with mine.

This became obvious in recent days as I felt a nagging anxiousness... wondering if a particular condition that I have invested my faith in will serve me in the end. Placing my faith in this uncertain outcome, I felt insecure and afraid. How could faith feel so fickle?! Today it became clear... to place attachment to something or someone outside of me is an illusion of control masquerading as faith.

When I look around at the Great Unknown of my life, I can sometimes feel a great sense of overwhelm. At those times, I find myself looking for something (or someone) to bring me a sense of security, safety, and a sense of control over my destiny. Yet, I know better. Born a black sheep, I know to trust the one thing that is certain...

Therefore, I am choosing to actively place faith in the Unknown. Yes... by definition faith dares me to place my trust in the one thing that I truly believe always and in all ways will lead me to my greatest good: paradoxically, that which is far outside the scope of my understanding. Now THAT I believe in.

You see, for me, faith defies reason. And it is with an irrational certainty that I find the greatest sense of Peace in my heart and mind. Call me crazy... call me naive... call me what you will. Meanwhile, I call upon the Love that I believe in above all else.

Faith is Freedom. It is true liberation to know that you are secure in every way that matters in the end. And so I choose to dip inside for a Freedom that is attached to no-thing and no-one. I will do my best to love others with more Freedom... without need to hold on to any condition, person, relationship, or outcome. I will move towards what moves me with a heart faithful in its trajectory.

There is only one thing that I commit to holding onto.... the Loving Hand that guides me gently along this joyful path of self-discovery.

Tags: faith is freedom, the unknown, black sheep